Friday, August 20, 2010

Come One! Come All!... and See the One Woman Show!

For obvious reasons readers, I've been postponing any type of public outings with the babies that require me to be on my own. The occasional trip to Grandma's is fine, but even going to the billion doctor's appointments that these children require, I've still been accompanied by a faithful sister. This week changed the game. I decided it was high time to get out and about. Two major outings resulted from this decision.
We started with a walk. This sounds like a simple task, but when you consider the process of changing the babies, dressing the babies, kenneling the dog, pulling the stroller out and setting it up, lugging both babies down two sets of stairs, strapping one in while the other one cries, packing the garage door opener, aaaaand.....remembering to dress yourself in socially acceptable clothing first, ......it all seems a tad overrated. All of of those things aside, I'd made the decision to overcome my fear.
So...I completed all of the steps above, and headed out  my door. (Please Note: On day 1's walk, I drove to a reputable park as I considered it safer to walk in. After that trip, I decided that our neighborhood was safe enough.) Day 2's walk went very smoothly and we did make a few good laps. Although, at one point, I found myself in a very isolated part of the block and promptly jogged my offspring back home for fear of being watched by some creepy neighbor from behind his dingy drapes.....both gross and absurd, I know.
Seeing as how my two whole walks went so well, today I decided that me and my tiny clan would hit up Walmart. Talk about a leap...geez.
We arrived early and peacefully. I found a satisfactory parking spot and again executed a smooth transition of baby from car seat, to stroller....Awesome. My mission was simple. Get in. Get formula and diapers. Get out. So, amidst the "Oh look at that"s, and the "Oh how sweet"s, I made my way to the baby isle and grabbed the necessary items.
It was at this point that my daughter decided that she hated Walmart and decided to let everyone know. We cried all the way to the frozen isle. To get you up to speed, my husband called requesting a frozen pizza; this required a basket, which in turn, required another trip to the front of the store. All of this resulted in a very unhappy baby by the time we reached the checkout. I, meanwhile, looked ridiculous pushing two infants and dragging a basket behind me. It also didn't help that the KU shirt I'd thrown on this morning proclaimed proudly to the world that "Win or lose, I still boozed". Yep, regular Mother of the Year over here.
All in all, we made it back to the car in one piece, and I'm still here to tell the tale. This now means that because I've now braved the outside world on my own, untold adventures await both you and I.........great.
So tell me readers, anyone out there relish the public outing as much as I do?