Wednesday, September 29, 2010

The Babies and the Bathwater

Good Morning Readers,

     Hopefully everyone’s day so far is sailing along smoothly. I, for one, am relaxing and thanking the good Lord that I don’t have to repeat yesterday’s bathing ritual. It was totally necessary, but per usual, it was a tad draining (no pun intended). It’s not that I don’t delight in the bathing of my babies like every other mom, but you see, sometimes doing everything twice can be a little trying..
      As I mentioned yesterday, my babies did, in fact, smell like old cheese. Now, some of you may be confused by this terminology, so allow me to explain. At times, especially if a baby is bottle-fed, as mine are, they begin to develop a foul odor. This particular brand of smelliness stems from the constant flow of formula and/or milk that makes its way down the neck of the child, and then takes up residence in the fat folds under the chin. It then sits there (unless you religiously wipe your child down after each feeding), until a pungent sensation confronts you whenever you snuggle up to your baby.
     As I’m not the A+ mom that bathes her children every single night, my babes were a little smellier than usual. Not that bathing your baby every night is a crime punishable by death, but my children probably won’t be bathed every night until they can walk upright and pour things on themselves. Despite this, yesterday, it was time they be dunked and dried.
     This is where I’ll explain why the process tires me so, and is best done in a list. Otherwise, the description could go on for ages:

  1. Strip 1st baby down and hope it doesn’t pee on you.
  2. Whisk baby into the bathroom and into the tub that’s shaped like a whale, which is staring morosely back up at you….
  3. Convince your baby that it really wants to get into the whale. (Babies don’t have good memories at this point, so this is a brand new experience.)
  4. Once baby has been coaxed into the water, begin cleaning as quickly as possible. Be careful, however, as your baby has now become a slippery, greased pig, hell bent on sliding under the water or out of the tub.
  5. Shampoo baby’s hair and then rinse without blinding her for life.
  6. Now, wrap in a towel, rush to the changing table, and diaper and dress the baby before it again, decides it needs to pee on something.                    
In most people’s case, step 7 would consist of  emptying the tub and probably sitting down to rest. In my case, step 7 consists of going back to step 1 and starting all. over. again…..yeesh. All in all though, even though it's a lot of work, it's still worth it to see your slippery, fat baby splash in the tub. I'm well aware that it'll get to a point where bathing isn't cute, so I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Here's to clean babies!