Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Turkey Legs and Tights

Good Morrow Readers,

I doth fair appropriately and how be thee on this fine morn? If you've been wondering what I've been up to lately...as I'm sure you have....the above hopefully clued you in. Yes, that's right. This weekend, I was privy to the sight, sounds, and occasionally disturbing costuming of the Renaissance Festival. I wanted to relate this spectacle to you yesterday, but as the twins were is seriously foul moods, that just wasn't happening. Now let's see what I can remember...
     As usual, when Saturday morning rolled around, husband and I started looking for things we could keep the twins busy with. As luck would have it, some friends of ours gave us a call and asked us to accompany them to aforementioned festival. We gladly accepted, jumping at the chance to stroll around once again in the fine weather we've been having. And, as we'd never been to this particular event before, we were highly curious as to what we'd been missing....if I'd only known.

     I guess the most important thing you need to know before attending anything of this sort, is that people take it VERY seriously. This is evident from the time you hit the parking lot. Nowhere else, can you look to your right and see an "elf" eating a cheese stick while sitting on the tailgate of his Ford F150. If you're then brave enough to look to your right, you may then by lucky enough to take in the sights of an overweight pirate digging through a small travel cooler for a Pepsi. I was fortunate enough to observe many such sights as these, all before we made it up to the castle gates and into what can only be described as a visual explosion of polyester, feathers, cleavage, food on a stick, and missing teeth.
     We made it in alright, but as we'd put it off before we left, we had to go ahead and feed the babies. This involved me mixing bottles of formula in the middle of long wooden tables filled with curious costumed individuals, many of which, stared at me like I was the strangest thing they'd seen all day. My friend and I fed the kiddos as quickly as possible, gladly grabbed the beers retrieved by our significant others, and hastily moved on to tour the "village".
     The Renaissance festival people have neatly designed the grounds so that you feel somewhat like your walking through a medieval village. Fortunately for them, nobody actually knows exactly what that was like, so many liberties are taken with that experience in general. Mostly, we ended up looking through shops that sold a few handcrafted things and a few more from China...
     All of this was well and good until it started raining. At that point, we were forced to navigate the fake town by dragging the stroller along muddy and barely paved "roads", all in our in attempt to make it to the joust. My daughter, meanwhile, had decided that she'd rather be carried than be in the stroller. This forced me to plod along the muddy roads with her in my arms and the rain pretty much soaking us both. This, unfortunately, was a little too historically accurate for my taste. All I needed were some rags on my feet and my freshly killed dinner on my back.
     We made it to the joust, but by that time, all of us were completely drenched and covered in mud. Luckily, it was a quick show which gave us time both observe grown men throwing eachother off  horses, and to take a quick picture with the town leper (who really took a liking to us for some reason) before we headed out...ahh memories.
     All in all, it was an ok time. And although I did get to shoot a bow and arrow, I never got the chance to devour a turkey leg. This only means that we'll have to go back at one point or another...
I'll definitely let you know if that happens. Until next time Readers...Huzzah!