Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Tale of Two Couches

Good Afternoon Readers,

     I'd like to start off today by saying how much I love a deal.  I'm not talking about nabbing a couple "Louis Vouittons" out of the back of some some shifty, toothless guy's Cadillac, by any means. But anything legit...I'm all over it like white on rice. Recently, I got to flex my spend thrift muscles on a great buy. Consequently, my husband now thinks I'm crazier than he estimated me to be, when he slipped that ring on my finger and said " I do......not know what I'm getting into."
     As my faithful readers, you all know that I own a mammoth, destroyer of a dog who has eaten, slobbered, farted on and rendered my furniture useless. I've spent my last couple weeks lamenting the fact that, when guests stop by, I kindly have to ask them to sit on top of each other, so as to utilize the two "good" cushions I have available. Thankfully, God, in his mercy, smiled down on me and said, "Paige, this is getting ridiculous. I will fix it for you."

     My beautiful Mother was on her way home, when she happened to spy both a couch and a love seat she felt, would remedy my furniture predicament. Alerting me immediately, and offering to wrangle the twins for a bit, she sent me down the street to survey my prospects. My mind began to race. What would they want? Hundreds of dollars?...no... Maybe they'd take an even trade for the dog?... Was that legal?... Damn, if this were medieval times, I'd be able to offer a wheel of cheese and a goat.
     I pulled myself together, parked the car, and made my way up to what appeared to be, a modest, well-organized garage sale. Smiling at me as I approached, was a friendly looking woman on the driveway. After smiling back, I observed the couches to my left, and approved at once. And only 100$ for both to boot! Without thinking to poke, prod, smell, or sit on them to make sure they weren't prone to collapse, I decided I'd go ahead and put them in my house.
     Sure of my decision, I mosied over to the woman and told her that I'd love to take the couches off her hands. She smiled as I showed her the money. I then launched into a long-winded explanation about how I couldn't get them home in my car, nor drag them, and that my husband couldn't do it either as he had to watch babies when he got home. I ended with, "So could you maybe haul them to my house?" The woman opened her mouth to speak, and what came out? Spanish. Yes, that's right, the poor woman stood there watching me gesticulate and ramble all the time thinking that I was probably crazy.
     When all was said and done, the day ended with my husband returning from work, to the sight of a small, kindly Mexican family unloading couches from the back of an old Ford, straight into our garage. Although completely confused, he proceeded to offer to help move them off the truck. After our guests had departed, I tried to explain everything in one breath. He looked at me like I'd just told him I was running away to join the Russion circus to become a bear trainer. I'm not sure what he really thought, but as it stands right now, I've got two very comfortable, very affordable couches sitting in my garage. Now, if we can just get them to the living room. Until next time Readers!