Friday, October 22, 2010

And Now a Note on Bathroom Solace

I’m taking a time out today so that I can speak to you about a very serious life lesson that’s finally come full circle and bit me in the metaphorical butt. It’s something that I used to laugh about as a child because I had no idea how serious the situation actually is, and how many innocent mothers it affects. Today I’d like to make amends to my own poor mother by addressing the “No Mother Left Alone in the Bathroom” crisis.

For every one of my readers who isn’t a mother, please continue reading as you’ll more than likely find it amusing, seeing as how you’re still considered an offender. For all my readers who are mothers and have graduated to status of victim, please read along and try not to cry as I paint the following picture…..

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Like Real People Do

Good Morning Readers,

When October started, I vowed to write often. To say that I lied to myself is a little harsh, but I definitely fibbed. I'm discovering that the only thing that can hold up writing about motherhood and family...is motherhood and family. Yes, it's been a busy last few days around my little household, but I tell you this, great and wonderful things have been happening. Milestones have been reached in my children's development that, in my opinion, call for an opening in the clouds, a blinding light shining through, and a hallelujah chorus beating down upon our split level. Holy moving babies Batman!... My kids do people things now!
     Now then, what do my baby daughter and the cheese have in common?...They both stand..er sit alone! That's right, in the past few days, my baby girl (frustrated that we keep putting her on her stomach, and determined to divert our attention elsewhere) managed to put her chubby hands out and prop herself to a sitting, albeit wobbly, position. This new ability has gotten stronger to the point of her showing off her awesome core strength while balancing on my right hand. Talented baby!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Trick or Treat Part 1

Good Morning Readers,

     In case you haven't noticed, it's that wonderful time of year again. The leaves are changing, the weather's getting cool, and Halloween is just around the corner. Besides the obvious wonderfulness of drinking hot cider, watching horror movie marathons on AMC, and pairing awesome boots with skinny jeans and equally awesome sweaters, this year, I'm pretty much psyched out of my mind to get to do something I've never done before. I'm of course referring to dressing my kids in the ridiculous costuming of my choice.
     Please note that I've named today's selection "Part 1" as this is probably just one of a couple I'll need to relate to you. Reason being, this whole super duper exciting costuming thing is turning into something a tad difficult. Don't get me wrong, I've done this completely to myself. I thought it'd be easy. I have twins, just pick a pair of something and dress them as said pair...er...maybe. The problem results from the fact that there's a billion things to choose from, and I don't want them to look back at their first Halloween, turn to me slowly, and say, "you dressed me like a  pumpkin....original." I'll start crying and go hide in my closet for awhile, lamenting my lack of creativity and ability to be a Family Fun/Parenting/Martha Stewart Living type of mother.
     As I do have somewhat of an active imagination, however, I've decided to push most of these unlikely scenarios out of my head and narrow down my choices. I mean, I have two fat, adorable babies. I could dress them in brown paper bags, call them "sack lunches" and everyone would still say, "Oh, how cute!" I did want to dress them as baby lobsters and me as a chef, but the only costumes I could find would require a second mortgage on my home...so that's a no go.
     I've narrowed down my choices, but I won't say just yet....need some more deliberation.  I'll check back in, as this new adventure will require a trip to craft store and hunting down that elusive animal single people call "free time".

Until next time readers!

Paige

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Tale of Two Couches

Good Afternoon Readers,

     I'd like to start off today by saying how much I love a deal.  I'm not talking about nabbing a couple "Louis Vouittons" out of the back of some some shifty, toothless guy's Cadillac, by any means. But anything legit...I'm all over it like white on rice. Recently, I got to flex my spend thrift muscles on a great buy. Consequently, my husband now thinks I'm crazier than he estimated me to be, when he slipped that ring on my finger and said " I do......not know what I'm getting into."
     As my faithful readers, you all know that I own a mammoth, destroyer of a dog who has eaten, slobbered, farted on and rendered my furniture useless. I've spent my last couple weeks lamenting the fact that, when guests stop by, I kindly have to ask them to sit on top of each other, so as to utilize the two "good" cushions I have available. Thankfully, God, in his mercy, smiled down on me and said, "Paige, this is getting ridiculous. I will fix it for you."