Wednesday, January 5, 2011

My Top Ten of 2010

Happy New Year Readers,

I hope all of you rang in the next 365 days with as much excitement and panache as husband and I. So, if you said "Yes Paige, I too hauled a 5 lb. bowl of cheese dip onto my lap and inhaled it like a starving child in a third world country, all while watching the ball drop and trying to remember if I'd bought toilet paper that day", then congratulations, we all welcomed the new year in the same classy fashion.

I write today, not only to welcome you and this humble little blog to a new year and a new decade, but also because I've caught the ridiculous fever concerning top ten lists. Mind you, at first I I thought this was the lamest thing in the entire world, as the media, gasp! tends to take a good thing and ride it into the ground like a 80 year old race horse with epilepsy. But as I started to think about it, I realized that making a top ten list of my past year may help myself (and you, you lucky reader), to remember some landmark moments from, what was, a mildly interesting year. So without further ado, I give you, "Paige's Top Ten Moments of Two Thousand Ten, ten, ten, ten (I hope that had the echoey effect I was looking for.)

10.) I started the best blog ever written. If you haven't already told all your friends,(while I forgive you), stop reading, shut your computer and start calling people. Thank you.

9.) I lost the fight with spandex and embraced it as my best friend. Control top tights are where it's at ladies, and you'll never convince me otherwise. They're called muffin tops, and they don't hold themselves in.

8.) I accepted the fact that I'm not a cook. I will no longer pretend that I snuggle with crock pots and canoodle with spatulas. Lies..all of it.

7.) I (along with my husband) had to accept the full reality that is having children of our very own. No social life. Nada. Quick runs to the grocery store, gas station, resturant?...forgetta 'bout it.

6.) After a long crusade against them, I finally get Facebook and Twitter. Social media is changed forever.

5.) I endure several weeks of massive sleep deprivation that would make a Navy Seal cry. I live to tell the tale.

4.) Due to the massive 100 lb pregnancy weight gain, I am forced to up-grade my vehicle from a questionable 1994 two door "sports car", to a 1999 suv. The "Whale Mobile" is born.

3.) This would be the frightening moment that the nurses at the hospital decided it was a good idea to let two questionable looking 20 somethings drive away with brand new babies. They just "assumed" we'd keep them alive.

2.) As I lay dying in the hospital, after giving birth, I realize that my husband, who is taking care of me day and night, really was a fantastic choice after all. Whew.

1.) After being drugged half to death and barely comprehending what's going on, I hear my babies cry for the first time and realize I'm a mom. I am also extremely flattered that God has enough faith in me to give me two children...I mean, He knows me better than everyone, and He still did it anyway.

Here's to a new year Readers!