Friday, January 21, 2011

The Secret Society of the Private Dance Party

Hey Readers,


I thought I'd take today's brief snippet of quiet, generously handed to me by the twins, to ramble about something that makes me happy. The last couple posts have been so serious, I figured it was high time we speak about something ridiculous. I'm referring, of course, to The Secret Society of the Private Dance Party. Bet you didn't even know you were a member huh?

As far as secret societies go, I tend to avoid them. Every time I join it's, "blood sacrifice" this, and "keep your sinister black, hooded robe clean" that. Besides, I've never really been much for meeting under crooked trees in the middle of the night.... too chilly. On my way home last night, however, I did realize that I am a participating member in a far less sinister club, but one which others rarely speak of. Why would they? It's far too embarrassing to admit what you do..alone...in the car. Ok, that's creepy, so I'll elaborate. Please see below.


The Code of The Secret Society of the Private Dance Party:

5.) You must be entirely alone in your vehicle to participate. This means no passengers except maybe a family pet. Animals are respected in the society due to their silence.

4.) Although you're masquerading as a regular citizen, you must always be fiddling with the radio buttons looking for THE perfect song. Choice of song will not be discriminated against as long as you find it awesome.

3.) Once the perfect song presents itself, you must stop everything you're doing and shout, "I LOVE this song!" Please be careful not to spontaneously remove your hands from the steering wheel. This causes accidents...and accidents are frowned on by the society and costly to cover up.

2.) You may now proceed to "Rock Out". This can mean a variety of things from screaming chosen song at the top of your lungs, to "poppin' and lockin" it at stop lights. Please be careful if The Robot is your dance of choice. Lumbar support is minimal in most vehicles and this is a great way to throw out the back you're probably going to need to carry the groceries in.

1.) Complete Secrecy is required. No matter how good the song makes you feel or what fantasies of that "music career you always wanted to start" may be surfacing, you cannot let others see you. This means the kid in the race car, sitting at the stop light. (Please Note: you can give him a nod, but cease and desist with the arm flailing.

And that's it Readers...all you need to know about the society that, I happen to know, each and every one of you is a part of. Now if you'll excuse me, I must get ready for work and prepare to serve the society. Shhhhh.

Until Next Time Readers!