Friday, June 17, 2011

I Like What You Like...Sort Of

Morning Readers,

     I love reading marriage blurbs in the paper or on those wedding-planning websites. If you're like me, you laugh whenever you read one because they go something like this:

Bob and Erma met over their mutual love of coffee and lama-riding.  After their yearly trip to build houses for southeastern, jungle pigmies, Bob finally got down on one knee and asked Erma to marry him. Erma, choking on her own happy snot, gushing tears down the side of their favorite hiking hill, said yes. The rest is history.

      The only problem? Those neatly-crafted bios only tell part of the story. If they were being completely honest, they'd continue as such:


After the wedding, Bob vows never to ride a lama again, and Erma discloses that she actually hates hiking. They still share a mutual love of coffee, but use it mainly to fill the void left by lack of conversation over breakfast. Erma enjoys long walks by herself, while Bob builds ships in a bottle, and sells them on ebay, to make ends meet.

     That's the problem, those blurbs are pretty much candy-coated versions of what marriage isn't. The truth is, once you say "I do...not have a clue" , mutual interests become about as real as your goal of becoming Lead Rope Dangler in Cirque Du Soleil.
     It's true, some couples retain certain things which brought them together. For example, Husband and I realized, early on, we both hate Dave Matthews Band *shudder*. In some ways, we consider this fact, the rock on which a good part of our marriage is built. But, band-hatred, love of hemp and mutual enjoyment of theme parks, will only take a married couple so far.
     Because of this, Husband and I are working on becoming more involved in the other person's interests. Admittedly, it's a little harder than we anticipated.

Example 1:

Me: What are we doing tonight?
Husband: Watching the game.
Me: Again?
Husband: Yeah, wanna watch with me?
Me: Yes...no...I don't know.

I watch the game and spend the entire time making fun of it. I give myself three ice cream sandwiches for trying...

Example 2:

Husband: What are we doing tonight?
Me: Reading
Husband: Oh...I'll watch the game.
Me: Okay
Husband: What's it about?
Me: The game?...Oh, you're pointing at the book? (I give a brief synopsis)
Husband: That sounds alright.
Me: You wanna read it?
Husband: No.. 

He spends the rest of the evening interrupting my reading to make fun of the plot and asking "What's happening now?" over and over again.

Me: I'm gonna kill you..
Husband: Are you?...Did you read that in your book?..

     My point is, whatever common interests married couples may have shared while they were dating, may not continue to apply post-vow era. At present, Husband and I are working really hard on participating in the other person's interests. This weekend, I'm taking another crack at it, and preparing a laundry-list of things we can do together. First up?....

...lama riding.

Until Next Time, Readers!