Friday, August 12, 2011

Sea Monsters Vs. Aliens

Morning Readers,

     Anyone who's been married for more than two seconds knows about recurring arguments. Marriage therapists like to tell people that having the same fights over and over means something's wrong - I'm starting to realize those stupid arguments are the glue which binds and fills the boredom void. For example, when two people are still dating, they've got dinners, movies, bars, really fun stuff, no worries, miniature golf, a non-existent mortgage, imaginary kids, and love-blind compliments to fill their time. Once you both compliment each other enough to say "I do", Saturday night sneaks up, and finds you sitting on the couch, filling your time with this conversation:

"Doesn't it just blow your mind?"

"What?..How many times I changed a diaper today?...Yes, but what's more fascinating is how our kids can poop that much. I - "

"No. I meant the galaxy...how large it is. It's mind-boggling, the vastness. There has to be life out there."

"Ugh, boring. I'd rather know what's at the bottom of the ocean. You do know they've only explored about ten-percent of it? They'll be dragging Nessie to shore in a tuna net, before they find an alien."

"Sea Monsters are stupid."

"You're stupid."

     -Stephen Hawking started this one. Another night in, another scanty choice in television. When it comes to Husband, a documentary on the origins of the galaxy will beat a history of the Royal family's wardrobe, any day.-

     "You know what's under the ocean? Glowing, google-eyed fish. That's it. The galaxy is huge. And the chances that nothing else is out there...well...I mean...come on."

     "I know what's under the ocean. Sea monsters. Fascinating, gigantic...sea monsters. And much cooler than the crappy, animated ones from that old Ted Danson tv movie....those were pretty bad."

     Motioning towards Stephan Hawking being pummeled with apples to simulate gravity. "I'll have you know, that signs of water mean potential signs of life. They've found signs of water."

"I'll have you know that our next family vacation, we're headed to Canada."

"What's in Canada?"

"Lake Okanagan."

"What's in Lake Okanagan?"

...."Sea monsters."

"We're not hunting sea monsters."

"Fine, I'll take the kids. You stay here and watch for aliens."

"I will."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

     Husband and I will probably have this conversation, until the day we die. Unless, of course, the certificate of death reads as such...

Paige Kellerman - Cause of Death: Eaten by sea monster.



Until Next Time, Readers!