Monday, September 12, 2011

An Evening In Review

Morning Readers,

     It may not have made your local news, but Saturday night, Husband and I hit the town. The Date Night Police raised the point we'd already been out once this month, but we managed to smush our guilt into yards of spandex, new dress pants, and cramped shoes, just long enough to drop Butch and Sundance off, and head out in pursuit of our cousin's wedding reception. Given enough time, we managed to transform our new lease on life into something truly special... And it pleases me to say that, after much anticipation, the reviews are in. Here's just a few things people are saying about Saturday night's performance:

A Review:

     "I've never seen a woman nurse a Gin and Tonic like Mrs. Kellerman. Clung tighter to that glass than a baby. I tried to convince her two was enough, but she insisted that a third would make her "50's chic", that I, "wouldn't know a woman with class if she burned down my trailer."and that "Audrey Hepburn would've had another drink, five minutes ago." She scared me.." -- The Bartender

     "They ate the last of the chicken.." -- A Waiter

     "When they hit the dance floor, we initially thought they'd escaped from a mental institution. But after a family member quietly whispered that the Kellermans hadn't been out, after eleven p.m., in a year, I told the band to keep going, but to keep a look out. I haven't seen movement with that type of purpose since I watched The Shining..." -- Lead Singer of the Band

     "She used all the paper towels and almost put the decorative candle out.." --Bathroom Attendant

     "At first I wasn't sure whether I'd made it to the right place, after I saw this semi-young couple doing the Mashed Potato, trying to do the lift from "Dirty Dancing", and screaming, "No, I love YOU more." They may have been eating sugar cookies...I just don't know..The whole thing was really disturbing.."
-- A Complete Stranger

     "I couldn't figure out if they were guests or not......Can anyone tell me if they were supposed to be there?.."  --The Wedding Planner     

"I thought about escorting them out.." -- A Security Guard

     "A triumph!" --Husband

     "I give it five stars on a scale of one to three baby goats.." -- Me

     .....The judges are still out on whether we ever get a repeat performance. So tell me Readers, are you as smooth at weddings as we are?

Until next time, Readers!