When I got the mail, yesterday, I was delighted to see the mailman had stuffed a package that was much too large into our mailbox. Relieved it hadn't arrived in a protective box and set on the porch, away from the elements, I grabbed it and bolted back inside. Butch and Sundance were eating dinner, so it was a perfect time to slice through the plastic, dump out the contents and shake out my brand new coat. My seventeen dollar coat, to be exact. And although I'm pleased to have made such a thrifty purchase, the quality of the thing seems to be lacking. My suspicions were confirmed when I peeked at the tag, which read...
Coat:This is a product of a country you've never heard of, still in the process of applying for "status of a country". Product is 50% flammable, 50% wearable, and 50% pressed wood chips...also 20% plastic-cotton-poly-blend. Do not wash - garment will disintegrate.
I wasn't terribly surprised. These days, I'm looking for a deal anywhere I can find it. Now that we're down to one income, tightening the old belt has become priority-one. Unfortunately, not everyone's as excited about my ingenious ways of saving money. For instance, the other night, heard a terrible scream from the bathroom. "Hey, is this some kind of joke?"
I called back up the stairs. "What is it, Honey?"
"Where'd the toilet paper go?"
"Check by the sink."
"All I see is a pile of trash next to the bathtub. Why do we have trash next to the bathtub?"
"Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot I put it there. That's our new toilet paper. It's made from old envelopes and financial documents we don't need anymore... I glued them together by hand. Took me all morning. I even skipped the Today show."
"I find it helps to bite down on something."
"Go buy toilet paper."
I met with similar difficulty when I tried to convince Husband the dried banana I scraped off the bottom of the couch was nature's fruit snack. And was he "too good to carry them in his lunch?" Same trouble with the homemade sandwich bag underwear and the Popsicle stick toothbrushes. So picky.
So what if we're the only house on the street lit completely by lard candles? The pioneers never worried about "fire hazards" ...scalping, maybe. No, I'll continue with my penny pinching plans. And when the neighbors open the door and ask what I dressed my kids as for Halloween, I'll proudly point and say, "Those Sir, are two paper bags...they like Twix."
Oh well, I'll work on it... Any money-saving tips I'm leaving out?
*update: please let me know, in comments, if you had any trouble finding the "followers" or "follow" link. Blogger programming might be sneezing again...
Until Next Time, Readers!