Wednesday, February 29, 2012

A Fishy Obituary

Afternoon Readers,

     And now, a moment of silence...
Picture of the deceased if he'd been made by anyone else
Easy Tuna Noodle Casserole- Friend and Main Course

      Last week, Tuna Noodle Casserole passed away at the age of 24 hours, due to complications with the crock pot. Although in seemingly good health as he entered the vessel, four hours on "'high", instead of seven on "low" caused the usually robust recipe to burn and wither like George Hamlin chained inside a tanning bed. Experts on Pintrest and Google suggest this tragic death could've been avoided if the cook had ordered out for pizza or never been born.

     Before the accident, "Noodle", as he was known down at the local VFW, enjoyed sitting as separate ingredients, waiting until the day he made something of himself, and nice highball of Old Crow on the rocks. Here's what some of those who knew him are saying..
     "Made with little to no effort. Impossible to mess up." - Easy Crock Pot Cookbook

     "Are you trying to kill me? Because I already explained about the socks that aren't yours." 
-Husband of the cook

     "Eww. Cake now?" - Children of the cook

     "What do you mean it was green?" - Mother of the cook

     "If you got any around your eyes, flush it out with water." - Lady at Poison Control

     Easy Tuna Noodle Casserole is preceded in death by numerous other recipes. He leaves behind  impossibly-baked-on remnants of himself, Almost Edible Banana Bread, and That One Noodle Dish You Made That Only Gave Me Half A Stroke. The family requests comments be left in lieu of flowers.

Thank you all for your time and moment of silence. If you or someone you love has murdered a dinner close to you, please feel free to share.

Until Next Time, Readers!
    







23 comments:

  1. You lost me at tuna. {shudder}

    I'm a pretty meticulous cook. If something doesn't work, it's usually because it's the first time and I don't know what to expect. But I try it again and make modifications. That usually works out for the best.

    ReplyDelete
  2. When the kids were growing up, I made a meat loaf, which I had made many times before. I didn't measure--who measures meat loaf ingredients? We had a dog that would eat ANYTHING! My husband said it tasted funny--neither he or the kids would eat it. I said mine was fine. He said not even the dog would ieat it. I, of course, said, "Oh, yeah?", grabbed his plate, put it on the floor & called the dog. He ran in, sniffed the plate & left the room! I never trusted anything that dog told me after that.

    I recently sent my husband & the kids an ecard. It showed a woman carrying a steaming platter of food & said, "Do you remember that time you said I tried to poison you? It was an accident. Would you like some meat loaf?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How come no smartass reply, Paige??

      Delete
    2. LOL..I was only half way through replying to comments, when the twins woke up and told me they needed to eat or have juice or be mothered or something. Who do they think they are? Rude. (Also, why I"m working on comments, from the bottom up, is beyond me)
      You should know that dogs are just out to embarrass us, anyway. Our dog eats everything, but makes it look like I'M the one who drools on the table. I"m sure your meatloaf tasted fine. If you make it, I'll be happy to eat it..and forward my medical bills...

      Delete
  3. My only major cooking mishaps occurred during my husband's leave after he came home from Vietnam. I'd start cooking a meal, and then one thing would lead to another thing would lead to another thing, and next thing I knew, we were in the bedroom and dinner was forgotten until the burn smells hit our nostrils.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Can't blame you, Susan. If I'd been in your position, food would've been pretty low on the list, too!...LMAO

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. Peaches, I'm gonna go ahead and say it..I love your name.

      Delete
  5. All I can say is ...THANK GOD because I HATE tuna noodle casserole!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm trying to restore my love of it, and find another recipe. I may be attempting the impossible...

      Delete
  6. Wait, you mean there are people that DON'T burn stuff?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've heard tell of that line of individuals, but have yet to meet one. Then again, I spend a lot of time alone..

      Delete
  7. ROFL!!!!! Cade loves tuna and I hate it ;) R. I. P.

    You are sooo epic!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tuna, the social reject of the cooking world..lol. Btw, reading Golden Sky, right now. So many comments, I'll have to shoot you and email..:)

      Delete
  8. Lol
    I am forever forgetting taco shells under the broiler. Praise for the genius who came up with taco salad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mmm, taco salad. You may have just solved our dinner problems for tonight. Thanks, Coleen! ..lol

      Delete
  9. Amazingly that is now I now cook. My family has to keep an eye on things or we eat a lot and i do mean A LOT of undercooked or burnt food. Weird how eyes seem to be necessary for food prep lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As horrible as it is, Melynda, I don't even have that excuse!..LOL You and I need to start some sort of cooking support group, fo realz..

      Delete
  10. noodles = pasta = No No. Bad. Debra no eat. Good thing to kill. :D

    I was busting up when I read this from my email and then it hit me, does your blog even register the hit if I read it from there? Probably not. Of course, your blog hates me. :( That's why all the disguises.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I salute you and your fight against carbs...lol. I'm not sure if it does, unless you click the link. Must find that out. I did remove the word verification, so maaaaaaaybe that'll help. I'm about to point the finger at Blogger. You know I love it when your beautimous face visits...:)

      Delete
  11. I am a decent cook, not afraid to try new stuff and usually I am very safe in the kitchen. But there was this ONE time that I sent a pan on fire. I'm still not sure what happened, I was making rolled up chicken things with spinach and cheese inside. I had made them before. I must have had the pan on for a while before putting them in and the next thing I knew, BLACK SMOKE was billowing like I've never seen before. Thankfully, i had a lid nearby and threw it on and then threw the whole thing outside. It was pretty scary. And totally ruined dinner. So sad. Found you at finding the funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice to meet you! I've found some awesome people, such as yourself, through the lovely ladies of Finding the Funny. Now then, I don't know if I've set anything on fire...recently...but I do find it helps to keep a fire extinguisher next to the spoons.

      Delete
  12. Sooo funny! Love the obituary. Ha! The noodle/stroke one sounds delicious. Your perspective cracks me up. Thanks for linking up to #findingthefunny!

    ReplyDelete