Tuesday, February 21, 2012

May I Have The Envelope, Please?

Husband and I, after winning "Most Tired In A Comedy or Drama"...
Afternoon Readers,

     If you're anything like me (which, I suspect you are because I keep running into your lovely faces around here), the upcoming Academy Awards just won't do it for you. Frankly, my interest peaked after the Titanic craze, but we can't pay Kate and Leo to rent a paddle boat and reenact it every year, can we?....we could? Hmm..I'll make some calls. At any rate, this year, I decided to hold an awards ceremony for your favorite cast of characters here at There's More Where That Came From. It's an honor for me to present the winners of this year's Kellerman Award...

*Begin by inserting your favorite friendly banter intro from this year's most recognizable twenty-something stars. As in:

"Hey, James Franco, you sure are accomplished."

"Thanks, Anne Hathaway. It's because I went and got some schoolin', kind of like this young lady in An Education, who just happens to be our next nominee."

"Oh, James Franco, you sure do kill me with your wit, kind of like when I died in One Day."

*Que awkward laughter*

 Winners of This Year's Kellerman...in no particular order

Best Actor: Butch Kellerman for his ground-breaking role in, I Don't Know Where This Poop On My Hands Came From

Best Supporting Actress: Sundance Kellerman in Eww...Poop..Can I Have Cake?

Best Silent Actor: Baby Kellerman in Nestled In the Womb: Tales From The Least Annoying Child

Best Actor in a Comedy: Husband in I Know I Told You I'd Get Up With the Kids, But...

Best Actress: Paige Kellerman for her role in Who Are You People, and How'd You Get In My House?

Best Foreign Language Film: Me Cook Cook In Da Wa Wa (My Cookie Fell In Your Water)

Best Makeup: Paige Kellerman for her work in It's Saturday Night, And I'm Wearing Mascara: The Mystery of the Crumbling Mascara

Best Costume Design: Butch Kellerman for his work in I Turned This Halloween Bucket Into A Hat

Best Visual Effects: Sundance Kellerman for her work in Crayon On Your Cabinets: A Brief History of Cavemen, Shown in Blue, Red and Green

Best Documentary: The Way We Wobbled: The Journey of A New Toilet Seat, From Store To Bowl..

Best Picture: We're Saving Up To Get Mommy the Nice Room At The Sanitarium

What do you guys think of the Oscars? Do you watch, or go work on that needlepoint you've been putting off?

Until Next Time, Readers!