Thursday, May 3, 2012

And Now, What the Old Lady Said...

Not actual photo of the woman I spoke to. This is a famous Hungarian criminal being used for illustrative purposes.
Afternoon Readers,

     Had to pop in quickly to let you know it's been a crazy morning and also that a strange, albeit adorable, elderly woman read my belly. I know you have things to do and Price is Right to watch (and you, yes you...that baking soda's only 1.35..and you know it. Stop listening to the audience).

Scene: Walmart (my second home), checkout line, swiping credit card.

"You expect new baby,  no?"

Smiling, "Why, yes we are. Either that, or I ate one of those watermelons you have on sale. I take melons very seriously. When I was a young buck, people would always stop me and ask, "Why do you care so deeply for melon?, and I'd just shake my head and say, "I don't know."

She shook her head. "Is it in or out?"

Stops pressing buttons on keypad. "Excuse me?"

"In or out?"

"I hope it's in there. Otherwise, this is about to turn into some sort of second-rate John Carpenter fiasco, with me screaming, "Somebody do something! ....I'm not a virgin and I'm going to die!"

"No, your belly button; is it in or out?"

"Ooooooh, I was confused because I didn't realize this trip for crayons and a potty seat was going to end up with us being so uncomfortably familiar with eachother....er...it's in."

"Good. That means you have girl."

"You're sure about that?"

"I always right. People always say, "You always right."

"Well, maybe you're right. My bookie will put you down for five hundred and I'll collect after the drugs wear off."

So, there you have it. The old woman who sees the future says it's a girl. I'll let you make your own predictions and decide how much you'd like to wager. Now that I think about it, I may just do a giveaway to the person who's closest to gender, weight, etc. but you better start guessing, because there's a little old lady who's got my number and she's checking in lane three.

Until Next Time, Readers!