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| Confirming my theory that the first six weeks of their life was wasted on formula... |
I believe it was Aristotle who first said, "A blogging mom gets more done when she doesn't have children." Or maybe it was if she doesn't have to arm her husband for battle. In any case, if you've lost track, I'm finishing week thirty-four of this pregnancy and experiencing something close to pulling my energy through slowly drying concrete. So, if I'm making my blog rounds and responding to comments at the speed of a snail in a high energy aerobics class, I apologize and will catch up as quickly as this coffee trumps my fatigue.
Compounding the newest Kellerman's need to pick pocket half my energy is the twin's desire to ask for things from the time the sun comes up until it goes down. And when there's no sun at all. Conversations this week that have me wondering if there's a boarding school that'll take two two-year-olds and one newborn...:
Courtesy of Sundance:
1.) *slaps my face* "Wake up, Momma."
"But I just fell asleep four hours ago."
"Wake up, momma. I wan a Pa Tart."
"And I want to be able to order Vicodin through the Schwan's man, but I haven't discovered life to be fair yet."
2.) *insert random tantrum about anything at all*
3.) "I want this" *picks up razor while I'm trying to go to the bathroom*
"Put that down, honey."
"I wan saaave."
"I'm afraid your beard's not coming in until about the time I get to go to the bathroom alone again."
4.) *Insert another random tantrum*
5.) "You a'wight, Momma?"
"I'm afraid "all right" is a phrase that gets bandied about way too much. I'm not quite sure of the exact definition anymore."
6.) Trantrum
7.) Tantrum
8.) Hold on, I have to listen to a tantrum before I can continue this post. Normally, I wouldn't pay too much attention, but the redness of the subject suggests she may spontaneously combust, leaving toulle and pink Minnie mouse slipper remnants all over the living room.
9.) "What are you doing in the sink?"
"Cleaning wif da gween ponge."
"Ahh, yes, the green sponge. Right where I left it near the garbage disposal."
10.) Tantrum
And now, courtousy of Butch...
1.) "Fruit 'nacks?"
"Sure."
2.) "Fruit nacks?"
"Sure."
3.) "Fruit 'nacks?"
"Sure."
Current Child Ranking
1.) Butch
2.) New Kellerman
3.) Sundance
Until Next Time, Readers!













I love to check in with you because I always leave with a smile on my face. Bless your little weary and worn out heart. They will grow up and eventually only have a dozen or so tantrums a day . . . when they're about 16!
ReplyDeleteHugs!
Thanks, Sandi! At least when they're 16, they'll be sleeping in a little bit...right??? I hope.
DeleteSchwan's selling Vicodin would mean the start of a perfect world!
ReplyDeleteI say we start a petition to make this a reality before anymore time passes.
DeleteIn all fairness, if there was a person I could slap to get a pop tart, they would be slap-happy.
ReplyDeleteAgreed...as long as I'm not the one getting slapped, I'm all for it.
DeleteLOL. There was a moment with my teen about a year ago when I finally accepted the truth. I really did drive my mother to drink. Hang in there, Paige!
ReplyDeleteOh Piper, in preparation for the new baby, I've just finished packing my hospital bag: Slippers, robe, Vodka...check,check and check.
DeleteI laughed. I cringe. I commiserate. Pregnancy is awful business and that is why I have quit "the business". Hang in there...only a few more weeks until your vacation in labor/delivery.
ReplyDeleteThank you. I, too, see it as a vacation. Only six more weeks until I can dawn that open-backed gown and scream, "Bring more pudding, now!"
DeleteTry distracting them with an activity, like shaving the fruit snacks. I also got good results when I switched my kids to caffeine-free Coke.
ReplyDeleteI knew I wasn't capitalizing on the fruit snacks like I should be. Genius!As long as I don't have to switch to Caffeine-free Coke, I'm ok with that plan.
DeleteThere's nothing like a slap in the face or a finger in the nose to start the day off right. I suggest kenneling the children for at least one night a week. You will be amazed by the quality of sleep you will get...LOL
ReplyDelete