Those of you watching my every move, probably noticed I was almost completely silent on social media yesterday. So, to that one fan out in Bangladesh, I'm sorry. I hope the camels were at least doing something entertaining. To the rest of you, all I have to say is that I had a date with the DMV, and that pretty much sums it up.
Good night folks.
Tip Your waitress.
Or your camel.
...Well, wait, I guess there a couple things worth mentioning, as it was the longest wait in the history of man. As beautiful and shiny as our new Department of Motor Vehicles is, they got so backed up yesterday that all numbers had been taken by 10am. Which meant I had the pleasure of not being called until 4:30p. Which also meant I was able to observe...
To the girl wearing a bikini: DMV doesn't stand for "Damn, My Very Important Parts Are Hanging Out"
....because they were, and the acronym would require more letters, if that were the case. Also, I don't know if I missed it on the bottom of my letter, but cleavage is not required to renew your tags in Kansas. So say the pioneers of our great state.
(Transcribed from our Big State Manual of Kansas...1902)
"Jebadiah, shall we require the women folk to show cleavage while renewing their car tags?"
"Nay, Samual. Me thinks we'll get the cold shoulder back in the marriage bed if we do."
"All those opposed?"
*silence*
"The ayes have it."
To the man who got tired of waiting: I feel for you. You know who wasn't tired of waiting? The woman who's eight months pregnant who can still feel bits of that plastic chair imbedded in her hiney. She's not tired of waiting because she likes to do things in nine month increments, and sitting in an air conditioned building while her unborn child practices Zumba on her bladder is a nice break from her twins jump kicking her face.
So, go ahead and write you congressman and the mayor. All the pregnant women have your back. Again, it must be so hard learning to wait for the first time in your life.
Next....
To the woman who bought me a diet Mountain Dew because you pressed the wrong button on the machine and you "don't drink diet" but maybe should: Bless you and all who dwell in your home.
To the poor DMV worker who finally processed all my paperwork: Thank you for being kind to me after, what I observed to be, one of the worst work days for people of your kind ever. And even though you laughed when I said I'd do fifty jumping jacks in front of you if it meant getting everything processed, I appreciate you not making me do it.
Because I don't trust this baby, and might have fallen out.
But, in the end, the new car got tagged, taxed, titled and left us just enough in our bank account to enjoy that romantic Ramen dinner for two Husband and I have been planning for simply ages. So, if you'll excuse me, I've got some noodles to whack against the counter top.
Until Next Time, Readers!
Posts
The last time I was at the DMV I waited in that long line to get my license renewed only to discover, upon finally being helped, that you now needed a birth certificate or passport in addition to your license to renew your license. So apparently the license ID the DMV issues you isn't considered to be enough proof to prove who you are, in the eyes of the DMV.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad they don't do that here. My driver's license is generally how I prove who I am....that, and the vile of blood I keep around my neck ever since I discovered Angelina Jolie's Pintrest board.
DeleteThanks for the reminder that I should be ever so thankful to be across an ocean from that establishment! Hallelujah!
ReplyDeleteNo joke. Although, I'd love to know how the Irish DMV runs...I think you should go anyway and report back.
DeleteAh yes, having read the horror stories, I took the coward's way out and sent my renewal in by mail. I pity anyone who doesn't have that option until they get things working properly!
ReplyDeleteI think I may have to mail Husband's as it didn't get done, but I'm taking that way next year fo sho.
DeleteI have portions of this post memorized due to quoting them repeatedly. Your life is funnier than mine.
ReplyDeleteNo, Julie. I'm sure it's actually a lot less funnier than yours. I'm just more disillusion that most other people.
DeleteOnce again, thanks for the giggle! I love how you take an excruciating day and turning it into something we can all laugh at.
ReplyDeleteAs I always say, "I must laugh at it, or I'll cry at it. And that doesn't do anything for me because I never wear water proof mascara...because I don't own any."
DeleteWhy does someone always show up in a bikini? What kind of photo shoot do they think this is?!?
ReplyDeleteWhat kills me is that this dmv doesn't do license renewal, only tags and titles. Soooo.... the fashion show was terribly out of place either or. Especially the scarf being used as a skirt.
DeleteI can see how you might think of an all-day wait at the DMV as a respite. Thank goodness you didn't have to drag your twins with you. Then again, that might've gotten you a pity boost up to the front of the line.
ReplyDeleteI thought about playing the pity card, but there were other people who'd had to bring their kids with them, and they were also still forced to stare into space wishing for the Rapture. The twins were mercifully watched until the ordeal over.
DeleteI feel for you, I do, but the vacation from your other kids...won't lie, may have lingered just a little extra at my last license renewal, crappy plastic seats and all ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are very patient. At least you got a funny post out of it.
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget my first trip to the DMV when I moved to VA. I waited and waited and waited and then couldn't prove I lived in the state. Silly me, I was kind of thinking the driver's license that they wouldn't give me without proof would be the proof.