Monday, July 16, 2012

A Van For All Seasons

"And it has seat belts and everything. I mean, we won't make you pay for the twine or anything."
Afternoon Readers,

     I hoped you all enjoyed Friday's blog post about not blogging. It was only after the fact I realized I'd just made you read something, that I also realized that perhaps I had technically blogged, but you all were probably like, "I'm so glad I clicked her link instead of doing something fun, like de-ticking the dog."

But, onwards and upwards....

     While you were being oh so patient with me, Husband and I took the time to finalize the purchase of the new Kellerman named for being owned by Kellermans and also being capable of forward and backward motion powered by gas.

     The former owners were nice enough to drive it all the way over to our home for the drop off and exchange of funds Husband and I had pooled by cash, loan, and knitting small sweaters for hairless cats..kidding...sort of... (inbox me if you know a hairless cat who needs a nice vest. We still have to pay taxes on this thing).

     They were a suburban dream as they handed over the keys from their manicured hands and introduced us to their beautiful set of blonde-haired children. The woman smiled. "It's been good to us. We hope you guys enjoy it."

     Sundance, dressed only in a diaper and a free head of hair that looked like she'd just completed base jump training, grabbed for the keys. Husband and I did our best to hug the babies to us and pretend we didn't realize we'd brought them outside looking like small mental patients. "Well," I did my best to smooth down my arm hair, "We're just glad to have something made in the last decade."

     "And you look like you're expecting another one?"

     "Oh, no. We just wanted more room for all the craft supplies we carry around with us. Kidding. Ihate crafts, but I hate getting pulled over, more, so we decided the new baby would need a seat inside the car instead of me biting the bullet and learning how to ride the whip."

     She smiled nervously and put a protective hand over Hansel and Gretal. "They're going to miss it, but.."

     "But, you're ready to drive something fun?"


     "I hate fun. That's why I'm buying your car and also make it a habit to buy off-off-brand toilet paper. But, it's like anything; as long as it's only made of fifty-percent sandpaper grit, you can do anything."

     "You guys will enjoy the space."

     "Mam, I'll just enjoy the fact I have the option of shutting my head in that sliding door when things get out of hand."

     And soon, we had title and bill of sale. Considering our Blazer is still partying like it's 1999, I'm pretty pleased with the Kellerman Mobile. It goes. It stops. When I close the doors, all parts associated with the car stay attached and don't fall on the garage floor with a "pick me up later when you remember to buy super glue" type of nonchalance. So, we're pretty pleased.

...and we only have a handful of sweaters to knit before it's paid off.

Until Next Time, Readers!