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| "And it has seat belts and everything. I mean, we won't make you pay for the twine or anything." |
I hoped you all enjoyed Friday's blog post about not blogging. It was only after the fact I realized I'd just made you read something, that I also realized that perhaps I had technically blogged, but you all were probably like, "I'm so glad I clicked her link instead of doing something fun, like de-ticking the dog."
But, onwards and upwards....
While you were being oh so patient with me, Husband and I took the time to finalize the purchase of the new Kellerman Mobile...so named for being owned by Kellermans and also being capable of forward and backward motion powered by gas.
The former owners were nice enough to drive it all the way over to our home for the drop off and exchange of funds Husband and I had pooled by cash, loan, and knitting small sweaters for hairless cats..kidding...sort of... (inbox me if you know a hairless cat who needs a nice vest. We still have to pay taxes on this thing).
They were a suburban dream as they handed over the keys from their manicured hands and introduced us to their beautiful set of blonde-haired children. The woman smiled. "It's been good to us. We hope you guys enjoy it."
Sundance, dressed only in a diaper and a free head of hair that looked like she'd just completed base jump training, grabbed for the keys. Husband and I did our best to hug the babies to us and pretend we didn't realize we'd brought them outside looking like small mental patients. "Well," I did my best to smooth down my arm hair, "We're just glad to have something made in the last decade."
"And you look like you're expecting another one?"
"Oh, no. We just wanted more room for all the craft supplies we carry around with us. Kidding. Ihate crafts, but I hate getting pulled over, more, so we decided the new baby would need a seat inside the car instead of me biting the bullet and learning how to ride the whip."
She smiled nervously and put a protective hand over Hansel and Gretal. "They're going to miss it, but.."
"But, you're ready to drive something fun?"
"Exactly."
"I hate fun. That's why I'm buying your car and also make it a habit to buy off-off-brand toilet paper. But, it's like anything; as long as it's only made of fifty-percent sandpaper grit, you can do anything."
"You guys will enjoy the space."
"Mam, I'll just enjoy the fact I have the option of shutting my head in that sliding door when things get out of hand."
And soon, we had title and bill of sale. Considering our Blazer is still partying like it's 1999, I'm pretty pleased with the Kellerman Mobile. It goes. It stops. When I close the doors, all parts associated with the car stay attached and don't fall on the garage floor with a "pick me up later when you remember to buy super glue" type of nonchalance. So, we're pretty pleased.
...and we only have a handful of sweaters to knit before it's paid off.
Until Next Time, Readers!
Posts
I like your new car, Paige. Was the photo taken in your driveway? And your new party dress is just wicked, you rascal!
ReplyDeleteI like my dresses like my cars....old with just a touch of rust.
DeleteGodspeed, Madame Andretti. In an effort to mix ethnic jokes, I wrote you this Irish "New-to-Me" Car Blessing.
ReplyDeleteMay your doors always stay on the frame.
May your exhaust pass emissions tests.
May your sunroof ne'er leak in the rain.
May this jalopy beat all the rest.
Fine, so it's rhymey. What are we doing here? You're grading me? Shit, just enjoy your damn car is what I'm trying to say.
Irish blessings are right up our alley. But if we happen to break down in that very same alley, I know who to blame now...;) Thanks, lady!
DeleteThat Ninja Mama might be onto something there! And so, a congratulations limerick:
ReplyDeleteThere once was a lady named Paige
Who said, "My new van's all the rage.
The doors hang on with glue,
But," with a hearty eff you,
"my zoo needed a traveling cage."
Traveling cages are where it's at...or so I've heard. Oh well, it's only thirty more years until I can drive something fun.
DeleteEveryone should own a van once in their life. Oh, wait, no, everyone should own a panini maker once in their life, sorry, got the saying wrong.
ReplyDeleteI thought that's what you meant, Amy. Unfortunately, I'm still working on the panini maker.
DeleteYay! Congrats on the new van and ability to knit clothing for atrocious hairless cats! Both will bless you in ways you never imagined ;)
ReplyDeleteAnd now I have this room to knit while I drive...bonus!
DeleteWell I would buy a sweater from you but you never sent me the homemade toilet paper you promised and I'm down to using poison ivy. I've gotten used to it but Phil and the kids are such whiners. Oh my butt itches! Am I supposed to have this horrible rash when I use the bathroom? It burns. Ridiculous! anyway glad you got your van and don't have to resort to strapping a car seat to the hood of the car.
ReplyDeleteThe rash is normal...just not anywhere near comfortable. Trust, me; though cheap, I don't know if my toilet paper will help with the burning. But I can try to add some aloe vera, pack it in ice and send it your way. Let me know when it gets there!
DeleteI want one of those hand-knitted cat sweaters of which you speak.
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't even own a cat.
This is *that* good. xo
Done and done. No one ever said all those people we knitted sweaters for actually have cats.
DeleteI remember swearing I would NEVER buy a van . . . and then the kids got into soccer, and there were car pools and EVERYONE ELSE had a van, but we had a whimpy OLD Camry, and could never reciprocate by driving the whole group, so, we caved and bought a van. Fast forward 12 years, I still have my van, I love my van, I can (and do) haul anything in my van.
ReplyDeleteI don't need a van anymore, it's only me, usually, but it's so darn comfortable, and I'm used to it! I may have this van until I die.
Can't blame you there, Sandi. If we're being totally honest, the van's starting to grow on me. But don't tell the rest of the Readers.
DeleteI love big vans . . . and seat belts. Sometimes when I feel like I'll lose my mind, I load all of the kids in the car. Yes, there's a chorus of "I'm touching yous" and "Are we there yets." But they are all tightly seat belted and I don't have to worry about the Zombie Elf parachuting down the stairs, or riding the baby down them like a sled--again.
ReplyDeleteHere's to your new ride--cheers--and to the seatbelts ;) lol
Oh, I'm not looking forward to the "Are we there yets". I, too, love being able to load everyone up and know that no one is crawling in a cabinet, throwing stuff everywhere. Right now, it's just people throwing things on the floor and demanding that I recover them while I'm going seventy miles an hour down the highway. So not annoying...
Delete