Thursday, August 16, 2012

If You Loved Me, You'd Notice Obscure Labors of Love

Morning Readers,

The one thing I love most about Husband is how he's always looking for ways to compliment me. The one thing I love most about myself is how I'm always offering him opportunities to compliment me. On our first date, he looked straight in my eyes and said, "You're really cute."

I set down the shovel I was using to re-locate fries to my talk hole and whispered back. "I love you too."

"Well, I didn't say love."

"No, but you meant it."

"I did?"

"That's why we'll make such a great pair. I can infer anything from what you're saying. If I order cheesecake, will you pay for it?"

"Sure."

"I'm glad you like my hair."

"What?"

Now that we're nearing the end of this pregnancy, I can't help reflecting on all the opportunities I've given Husband to compliment me, over the last nine months, and how good that feels. Especially when it comes to my obsessive cleaning streak.... Although, his senses may have dulled over the last five years, because it's getting harder for him to notice said opportunities.

Every day, when he comes home from work, I try and give him hints as to what that day's compliment is. Men usually respond well to sitting right next to them on the couch and staring at the side of their head. "Did you like it?"

"Did I like what?"

"The shower curtain liner. Me and the babies cleaned it today."

"Umm. Yes. It was very...white."

"Because, I looked at that dirty liner and thought, "What my baby wants, my baby gets."

"Yes, it was very...er..thoughtful."

Or...

"Did you see what I did?"

"What was that?"

I bat my eyelids. "Oh, don't play coy with me. You're such a wily fox when you want to be."

"You killed a fox?"

"No, silly. I finally used the Magic Eraser to get that sticker residue off the back door."

"Yeah, I guess that needed to be done."

"Because I'm beautiful and the only one in the world for you. Right? Right?"

"You're scaring me."

I don't always let my work speak for itself though. I'll admit that sometimes I fish for compliments. When Husband came down to breakfast on Saturday, I was a little shameless. He frowned at me. "Why are you miming? It's not a holiday."

I flailed my arms.

"Wait, are you playing charades?"

I nodded.

"Four words. Five syllables. You're grinding something. You're pouring tea? You're sewing the first American flag? You ate a Magic Eraser and need to be flushed out?"

On these days, I can't help blushing a little bit. "No, silly. I was grinding beans, purifying water, brewing it over an old fashioned camp fire and telling stories with my fellow settlers because....I made you coffee!"

At which point, he usually takes the coffee, shakes his head and walks out to the living room. Because he loves me, and can't live without me, and is really trying to tell this perfectly sane, pregnant lady that her hair looks great and she'll never look like she's fifty pounds overweight to him.

Compliment received. Over and out.

Until Next Time, Readers!


    

   

19 comments:

  1. It's clear that you're meant to be. Also, any guy who answers "sure" after you ask for cheesecake is a total keeper.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as he keeps answering "sure" for everything, this should be a pretty successful operation.

      Delete
  2. He is a saint, and by "he is a saint," I mean you are a goddess and deserve every single compliment you get.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. Because this belly doesn't make me look fat. Right? Right?

      Delete
  3. My husband, unlike yours, is not the type to give compliments easily. I have been known, on occasion, to ask him if he's still glad he married me. He always says "Yes" because it's the truth & also because he knows I'll kill him if he doesn't!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless Bud. And by that, I mean he blesses Bud every day with your radiance and wit. Our men are so lucky, Fishducky.

      Delete
  4. haahahahahahahaha!! You are hilarious!! I can't even remember how I came across your site, but I am a new follower. Thanks for brightening my day!

    -Kyie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Kylie! I'm flattered and always happy to have a new member of the club. *Hands over initiation beanie*

      Delete
  5. You are scaring me too, you fox killer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. People are unaware of my skills in the outdoors...and with wordsmithery.

      Delete
  6. Funny I had a similar conversation with Phil Just yesterday. He said there was no one there to make his coffee like at home so he was having to do it. I of course said thank you. I'm glad you are having this conversation and that you realize how wonderful beautiful and talented I am.
    What? I just said I had to make my own coffee here.
    You're welcome. I love you too. and I hung up. Do you think he got the picture? I hope so. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I often wander around until I can find someone to make coffee as well. And I've left you about eight messages in the past week, and you have yet to show up and start brewing. So Phil better just get in line.

      Delete
  7. If you did kill a fox, then you may be able to make a posh crib bumper out of it... ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So didn't think of that. You and your fabulous European ideas. Love it!

      Delete
  8. I also like your hair, and would like a piece of cheesecake. I I told my husband how funny this post is and read part of it to him, so I'm assuming he'll read it and bring me cheesecake later.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's probably a safe bet, but if he doesn't, I've got half a cocnut cream pie we can split. We'll have to hide from the children though. They always want pie.

      Delete
  9. This is hilarious. I'm going to use this as marriage advice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Use it sparingly. I've found that making husband compliment me more than fifty times a day threatens the chances of him bringing me cheese cake. And I like to keep in mind what's really important.

      Delete