Saturday, August 4, 2012

Kid Free! ...now what?

Unsure what to do now that the kids were gone, Constance decided she'd take a crack at the LSD recipe she'd found on Pintrest.
Afternoon Readers,

     Another week gone by and while the bathtub has kindly stayed in the bathroom, the van has me wondering exactly what type of black market parts we're going to have to pay for to get it road-worthy again. If things don't stop breaking, I may never get this ship back on schedule, and will proceed to bother you every Saturday until you have to cancel your internet to enjoy the weekend.

Because it's not like you'd unsubscribe to the blog. Audience poll says... "Paige who?"

The big news today is that the twins have been kindly taken to Grandpa's, and that leaves me with no one to complain about. Husband and the dog are napping. So you can see what that does for blog content. It's all fun and games until no one's doing anything I can turn into a good story about feeling sorry for myself. So inconsiderate.

Actually, I'm at a loss, in general. If there's no one pulling on my leg, how do I know if I'm even sitting down? If I'm not being screamed at to make lunch, how am I going to remember to eat? For that matter, how will I know if I'm hungry?

I haven't broken up a fight in over an hour. Is there a chance world peace started and perhaps I'll be the last to know about it?

Great. This is just great. Now that I think about it, I haven't had to kick anyone out of the bathroom in the last hour either. Now I'm not gonna know if I have to go to the bathroom. Maybe I should take this quiet time to eat some bran.

And now I'm alone with my thoughts. And you. Unless you left a while ago and didn't tell me. That's fine too. Maybe you have someone who reminded you you needed to go to the bathroom because they were using your tooth brush. Lucky.

Well, I guess I'll just have to go to the movies and watch something without being disturbed. Maybe come home and go to bed and sleep all the way through the night without someone slapping me in the face because they had a bad dream and reality isn't much better.

I guess I'll go be left alone. But, if you don't here from me by Tuesday, start calling around to local theaters in Kansas City. I'm probably stuck in my seat wondering whether it's time to go to the bathroom or not.

Until Next Time, Readers!

22 comments:

  1. Not such a bad situation--I bet you could get used to it!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got used to it, right as they came back home. Must work on timing.

      Delete
  2. I find myself in the same predicament often. I usually plan to deep clean the house when there is no one around to dirty as I go. What I end up doing is absolutely nothing, and it feels so good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had similar plans to clean, organize, go tanning, write a second book, figure out how hairless cats are bred. But, I also ended up doing nothing...and it was wonderful.

      Delete
  3. I think you should make the most of this (childless) time. quick. before it goes away.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If laying beached like a giant, endangered whale is taking advantage of the time, then I'm the most advantageous person you know...I think. Was that grammatically accurate in any way.

      Delete
  4. LOL, I remember those days when the kids were small. Enjoy them because before you know it you will be dancing to the tune of empty nest syndrom and you will have to decide for yourself everything you do, and do it in silence.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll admit the silence was a little unnerving. When there's so much noise around, you don't have time to think about the potential serial killers who are probably hanging out right outside your window.

      Delete
  5. And they said it would get easier when twins get older ... Just in time to have more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I'd like to find the person who told me that. We need to have a word. But, now that I'm getting ready to descend into complete chaos...well, I think I just scared myself away from any complete thoughts. I'll get back to you.

      Delete
  6. Hey lady! Sorry I've been awol lately. I swear I'm running out of time to shower. At least I hope that's what that foul smell is and something hasn't died in the house. I hope you enjoyed your quiet time. It's always nice when that happens occasionally. I'll be back soon to visit. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Obviously forgiven! I enjoyed it, but I don't think I fully appreciated it until they came back. If something has died in the house, I'll look you up something strong to mix up off of Pintrest. Vinegar, anyone?

      Delete
  7. I had a couple days to myself this past week and had so much I wanted to do, but when it was upon me, I turned into a serious procrastinator and ended up on the couch watching TV. It was awesome. Although now I regret it because all my projects are still waiting on me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TV also claimed a good part of my time. It's funny how motivated you can be to get things done when you know you only have a small window of time to do it. Give me a whole day, and I can't promise I'll even get dressed.

      Delete
  8. I laughed out loud at this post this morning, which alerted the children to my hiding place in the closet, preventing me from leaving a comment. But I'm back to let you know IT WAS WORTH IT, because that was hilarious. Plus, I can always change my hiding spot - they're afraid of the basement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Noooooo! I'm horrified this post called you out of, what I'm sure was, a carefully picked out spot. From someone who'd constantly losing at Hide and Seek around this joint, I am honored you came back to comment.

      Delete
  9. Ironically, I can STILL relate to this post! My babies are all grown up, but during the summer one or the other, or both, are around and shhhh, don't tell them, but I YEARN for some time to myself! Really! It doesn't matter how old they get, and honestly, they can LIVE in the bathroom, at least from the amount of food and drink I see there when they vacate, I think they could!

    Enjoy those moments - do nothing you have to do, or think you should do - just enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I think I was so disoriented by being left alone so suddenly, I didn't know what to do with myself. I know better for next time though. And you say they keep coming back...even if you invest in the electrified fence? Well, I guess I'll cash in that that little rainy day fund.

      Delete
  10. It's time to bust out the finger paints, make tribal art on your pregnant belly, get the camera, pose randomly in the scene of sleeping Husband and dog, and start your Awkward Family Photo debut!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahhh! Why have I not thought of this before? Does AFP take submissions? Must look into this as soon as possible.

      Delete
  11. Slightly nervous that you are stuck in a dark theater right now, you bladder busting at the seams, but if this is indeed not the case, I'm thrilled that you caught a little break--though yes, so rude of the to depart and leave you sans blog fodder ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have nothing witty. Just love for this post. BIG, love. You're uncomfortable now, aren't you? Sorry.

    ReplyDelete