Tuesday, September 11, 2012

How We're Doing...on a scale of one to ten

Morning Readers,

First off, thank you so much for all the well-wishes and words of kindness you've thrown our way; they're the only things I cling to while wandering half-blind around our house at three in the morning. I should probably start clinging to a flashlight, now that I think about it.

Doc Holiday has settled in. This means a.) I can sleep on my back again, and b.) never sleeping again.

...but if I could sleep again, it would so be on my back. *plops post-it into dreams and wishes box creaky from under-use*

It's been the general chaos of bringing a brand-new baby into the house, but the only real way to give you an accurate depiction of what the Split-level is like these days, is to give you the status report on a scale of one-to-ten:

Kellerman Status Report 

1.) The number of times I don't shower every day.

2.) The number of times I've wanted to cry

3.) The number of times I've actually cried. And why shouldn't I? Today, Husband left us...just left us. I called him and yelled, "What right do you have to abandon us in our time of need? You can't just up and leave in the wee hours of the morning. I just had a baby. Enjoy your new life without us."

To which, he replied. "I just got to work. Have a good morning and take all the pills the doctor sent home."

4.) Number of times I've blown things out of proportion.

5.) Number of times the twins have run into the baby's room, screaming, "Is he awake?"

And I've had to say, "He is now."

6.) Number of new games the twins have thought up since the baby came home. This includes favorites such as:

"I learned how to scream everything I say, while you were in the hospital"

"Look, I pooped and stuck my hand in it, so you'll have to figure out if you want to keep feeding the baby or stop me from wiping it on the dish towels and silverware." (This game is also known by its other name, "Contamination".)

"We're licking all the baby bottles."

"I pooped, the baby pooped, we all pooped at the same time."

7.) Number of times Sundance has said, "Damn it," after learning it from an unknown source. Because it definitely wasn't from me...nope...not from me. *uses slight of hand to direct you attention elsewhere*

8.) Number of times I haven't brushed my hair in the last week.

9.) Number of hours I've slept, total, in the last three days.

10.) number of times I've looked at the baby and thought, "Ehh, you're still worth it."

Oh, and before I forget, a shout-out to my friend, Meredith, over at Mom of the Year for mentioning me in her post about someecards.com. She did a fantastic job of picking hysterical ones for your enjoyment. Head on over and introduce yourselves. You can thank me for the awesome blog find, later.

Until Next Time, Readers!