Thursday, September 27, 2012

Late Nights: Saying "Yes" to Justin Timberlake and "No" to An Inappropriate Relationship With Justin Bieber

"It's ok, girl. I know it's just the sleepless nights and lack of hair appointments. Those roots are fierce."
Morning Readers,

Probably the hardest part of having a baby is trying not to watch too much YouTube. The second is remembering not to let your strawberry ice cream melt next to the computer, because that stuff is super expensive if you don't buy the off-brand, "Tastes Just Like Strawberry, Sometimes".

And before you think my priorities are completely askew, I'm well aware the third hardest part is figuring out how to smuggle all those litte cups of tapioca pudding out of the hospital.

I'm not an idiot.

But, back to YouTube.

As my ice cream melted, and I listened to the sounds of Doc finally sleeping in his swing, I realized, too late, I'd been sucked into the plethora of videos I'd been using to keep myself awake. A decent dabbling in Maroon 5 had turned into an ugly corner, right into the intersection of Bieber Street and Questionable Way. And, as I watched his latest video, I realized something horrible;

Justin Bieber is trying to turn himself into jail bate....

I say "trying" because I'm not fully convinced yet. While I stabbed at an unnaturally large strawberry, I made an imaginary spreadsheet. Traditionally, Justin Timberlake has always been my pop prince and father of my children if I want to confuse the secretary at the doctor's office.

But, I needed to weigh the differences before I made a ridiculous switch at twelve-thirty in the morning:

A Case For Bieber

1.) In his latest video, Bieber claims he wouldn't care if we were homeless; We'd still be together. Unfortunately, I think he's saying this because he's never been homeless. I hear it's uncomfortable, and I at least, need a futon to sleep on. No futon. No deal.

2.) I noticed he's developed the ability to almost see over the steering wheel of various expensive vehicles. This is appealing, as I have a weakness for nice cars, but I also have a weakness for riding in the passenger seat while it looks like the car's driving itself.

3.) Bieber's a good dancer, but I have feeling I'm a little taller than he is. This will potentially make it akward if we ever need to spontaneously break out in a two-four time waltz, dressed entirely in leather and distressed t-shirts, in the middle of Aldi. People tend to notice when the girl's taller than the guy.

4.) I'd be sharing a crush with my eleven-year-old sister. Hmm... though not clearly defined, that may fit into the "negative" category.

5.) He's eighteen. And we all know what that means. I'll be able to fill him in on what was happening the decade before he was born.

And now....

A Case For Justin Timberlake

1. He wins because he's Justin Timberlake.

Exhibit A:
 
Exhibit B:

I'm glad I could put this to rest for everyone.

Until Next Time, Readers!









21 comments:

  1. I have to admit that unless someone sends me a link, I never go to YouTube to watch videos. However, I have to admit that I'm team Timberlake based solely on the movies he's been in and the fact he can make fun of himself. I wasn't a fan of the boy band--hence my lack of Bieber love--but like JT as an adult.

    However again, I watch "Ellen" and Bieber seems like a good kid with a good head on his shoulders. It's just that everything under the shoulders is still only 18 years old...

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    1. Yes, Abby, my love for JT only deepens as he keeps going the acting route. That means we could have him around for years to come. I'm not hearing any objections from anyone.

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  2. Great read! I saw a movie just a few days ago called "In Time", and he was the star- he was pretty incredible! Even though I am nearly 47- I still think he's adorable! This movie reminded me why I like Timberlake...and he does come off as a "grown-up" in this movie.

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    1. I haven't see that yet, but I remember when it came out. Me thinks I need to be taking a time out for that one, here in the future. Thanks for the heads up!

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  3. Definitely Justin Timberlake! Timberlake! Timberlake! Timberlake!

    I mean... uh, I don't know who these people are that you're talking about.

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    1. You vote has been noted four times. Too late to back out, Christian...;)

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  4. Oh good. I'm not the only one worrying about my strange Oedipal attraction to the Biebs.

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    1. Nope, nope. I'm sure there's a support group for people like us.

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  5. One of the (few) advantages of old age--if they're younger than Sean Connery or Pierce Brosnan & not into cougars, I figure I can just adopt them!

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    1. Fishducky, they'd be lucky to have you as a mom...:)

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  6. But did you consider that God follows Justin Bieber on Twitter?

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    Replies
    1. I didn't know that. Perhaps I need to reconsider the issue? Hmm...

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  7. This is hysterical!! I love the subtle strawberry jokes....this had me seriously LOL!! Also, yes, JT, obviously! Come to mommy! LOL
    Devan

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    1. I don't always mention strawberries, but when I do, it's usually in a ridiculous context. And thank you for your vote for JT...:)

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  8. So funny! I like Timberlake more and more and Bieber less and less. Thank goodness neither of my girls like either one! I like the way you think, especially when you don't sleep. ;-)

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    1. You're lucky they don't like either, because the probability is that they'd side with Bieber, you'd be Team JT, and then all hell would break loose. I mean, so says my purely rational, sleepless brain.

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  9. I can't thank you enough for saving me countless hours of gut-wrenching, highly inappropriate internal debate. Timberlake it is!

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    1. I knew I could count on you, Robyn. Vote counted twice due to commenter's awesomeness.

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  10. When did Bieber's voice get deeper? I do like Timberlake, just cause he's funny, too! Thanks for the eye candy anyway.

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    1. I hear it happened when his latest album came out. He wanted them to drop at the same time... I'm sorry for that horrible joke. But I thank you for your vote!

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  11. I won't listen to artists called Justin, I just won't.

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