Saturday, October 20, 2012

Butch and Sundance Have Thoughts on Halloween

Morning Readers,

I'm about to fail as a mother.

*And the crowd laughs and cries in unison, "We know."

Worse, the twins are old enough to start noticing when I do that. For the past two years, they've been blissfully unaware I'm ill-equipped to raise children, especially when it comes to the holiday/craft department.

One of these days, they're going to ask me why they don't have any hand made ornaments with their newborn hand print lovingly pressed into it, the caption in permanent marker reading, "I made this because, unlike some people, I actually care about you."

But, this year, they're noticing things. I blame commercials because I do my best never to mention anything that requires me to pull out the hot glue gun and start maiming felt.

In between trying to rip down the blinds in the living room and bathing in the dog bowl, Sundance decided she wants to be a princess. When they start talking, I usually try to change the subject:

Sundance: Mommy, I wanna be princess for Hal'ween.

Me: I think that's a lot to take on. On more than one occasion, Princess Diana was quoted as saying it was extremely overwhelming.

Sundance: Princess.

Me: Speaking of, have you been following any of the economic developments for our friends across the pond? Serious stuff.

Sundance: Fairy Princess.

Me: Ok, well you have a nice day. It was really nice running into you like this.

As far as Butch is concerned, his current project of mastering the English language makes avoidance an easier task...

Butch: Momma?

Me: Yes?

Butch: Hal' ween?

Me: Yes?

Butch: Co' tume?

Me: Hmm ...I'm not sure what that is. How does a Pop tart sound?

Butch: Poptart... yeah!

Crisis averted.

Will the twins get costumes this year? Will I be able to cobble together the paper bag manipulation skills I reaped from watching one episode of Martha Stewart Living and cut out some stunning fairy princess wings?

Ummm....

Until Next Time, Readers!

23 comments:

  1. GAWD, for a second there I thought you were gonna have to pull a poptart costume outta your butt.

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    1. Nah... although I think I could manage that with some poster board and a stapler.

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  2. That's why I need poptarts in my house. I never realized they were diversionary tool.

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    1. Absolutely! You have no idea what you're missing.

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  3. Poptarts--what a great idea for a costume!!

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    1. I'm starting to be convinced that's the direction we're taking.

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  4. I HATE Halloween. With a passion. The thought of making costumes makes me want to stab my eyeballs out....! I'm SO there with you. I have zero artistic talent. thankfully, my children are older so they can come up with some things on their own. And Party City is my friend......

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    1. I actually like Halloween quite a bit. I'm just a complete failure in the "Sew something super original" category. The miniature Snickers? I'm all over that...

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  5. My craft-lessness is the reason my kids go to preschool!!

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    1. I'm really going to try and pull together some crafts for them by Christmas. Because, if we can't draw eyes on a paper plate and call it a snowman, I might as well retire as a mother.

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  6. Confession: Party City. I know, I know, it's horrible and awful that I've bought my kids costumes for too many years and yes it's a waste of money but it is definitely one less hassle, you can always hand-me-down (both my girls looked adorable in that clown co'tume, princess dress and evil witch outfit).

    Good luck and eat their candy slowly, so you don't get noticed as quickly.

    Teri

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    1. We have a Party City right next to us, and I'm so tempted to just pop over there and grab something. Grandma did give Sundance a hand-me-down princess costume yesterday, so that may be the direction we're taking. I wonder if my son will insist on having a costume too...sigh.

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  7. I never thought to quote Princess Di in my attempts to steer my girl away from the endless princess parade her Halloweens have become! If that doesn't work, I'll just toss a Pop Tart one direction an run the other way.

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    1. Princess Di is an excellent backup when trying to divert attention away from aspirations of royalty.

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  8. OMG, I am so uncrafty I am surprised they even let me bring my kids home from the hospital. I buy their costumes every year.

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    1. HAhaha..I'm really glad that's not a prerequisite for bringing your newborn home from the hospital. Otherwise, Doc would still be at the hospital waiting to see if I could hot glue some popsicle sticks together to prove I could take him home.

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  9. Paige, You need to swing by Burger King and get one of those free crowns for Sundance. Then, Long John Silver's for Butch's pirate hat. Two costumes AND dinner, done!

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    1. This idea is pure genius and I'm slightly mad I didn't think of it first.

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  10. I have two girls so I am in constant princess purgatory. Devan

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    1. Yep, I can see this is just the very beginning of many years of princess costume variation.

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  11. You know, when I was shopping at Aldi's this weekend, I saw that they had pumpkin pie Poptarts!

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    1. Oh my gosh. If I can find those, that may be where my Halloween preparedness ends..LOL

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