I'm about to fail as a mother.
*And the crowd laughs and cries in unison, "We know."
Worse, the twins are old enough to start noticing when I do that. For the past two years, they've been blissfully unaware I'm ill-equipped to raise children, especially when it comes to the holiday/craft department.
One of these days, they're going to ask me why they don't have any hand made ornaments with their newborn hand print lovingly pressed into it, the caption in permanent marker reading, "I made this because, unlike some people, I actually care about you."
But, this year, they're noticing things. I blame commercials because I do my best never to mention anything that requires me to pull out the hot glue gun and start maiming felt.
In between trying to rip down the blinds in the living room and bathing in the dog bowl, Sundance decided she wants to be a princess. When they start talking, I usually try to change the subject:
Sundance: Mommy, I wanna be princess for Hal'ween.
Me: I think that's a lot to take on. On more than one occasion, Princess Diana was quoted as saying it was extremely overwhelming.
Me: Speaking of, have you been following any of the economic developments for our friends across the pond? Serious stuff.
Sundance: Fairy Princess.
Me: Ok, well you have a nice day. It was really nice running into you like this.
As far as Butch is concerned, his current project of mastering the English language makes avoidance an easier task...
Butch: Hal' ween?
Butch: Co' tume?
Me: Hmm ...I'm not sure what that is. How does a Pop tart sound?
Butch: Poptart... yeah!
Will the twins get costumes this year? Will I be able to cobble together the paper bag manipulation skills I reaped from watching one episode of Martha Stewart Living and cut out some stunning fairy princess wings?
Until Next Time, Readers!