Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Date Night Clearance

Afternoon Readers,

Four months. Not only is this the amount of time it's been since someone yelled, "Hey, lady. You look great in those yoga pants," and actually meant the person behind me, but it's also the amount of time that's passed since Husband and I've gone on a date. Well, it's actually been three-and-a-half months, but, by the time our scheduled night out gets here, we'll be rounding out four months.

Sometimes you guys are just soooo specific. Chill out.

Besides the obvious circumstance of birthing a new child, and previously being too wide to fit in any movie theater seat known to man, Husband and I haven't attempted to go anywhere on our own, for lack of clearance.

"Why didn't you just go out? You're adults." You say.

And to you, I reply, "Why do elephants gallop majestically through the Serengeti, by moonlight, with the wind whipping delicately through their tail hair?"

Because that's life, my friends.

Once you become a parent, there is no more running out for date night. No more, "Let's head to that quaint little flea market, grab those matching 1950s his and hers sleds, and head to Apple Bees."

No, no. The stars must align. The children must be out of earshot. You must tempt Fate with a fifty and ask that she please look away for a moment. After doing all this, I approached Husband.

"I got the tickets to the concert you wanted to go to."

He stared in disbelief. "We can't."

I winked. "We can. I already got a babysitter."

"Blackmailed or coming of her own free will?"

"She agreed without coercion, sir."

"And the tickets?"

My shoulders relaxed. "Paid for with real money. These aren't the ones I make out of construction paper and tell you to turn in for "One free hug" on Valentines Day."

He knit his brow. "And you went around to all the neighbors and told them they aren't allowed to have an emergancy we'd have to help out with that night?"


"We have something wear?"

"One choice outfit and two backups for instances such as baby spit-up or freak toothpaste accidents."

"Money for gas, junk food, and a "This is the only beer I'm drinking tonight because I'm broke but still want to look hip and young" beer?"

"What do you take me for?"

"You're a saucy lady."

"I know."

So, barring any natural disasters, we're off to date night, in two weeks...I hope.

Until Next Time, Readers!