Monday, December 10, 2012

Butch and Sundance Meet Santa Claus

"So, Sundance, what you're saying is, if I bring you that miniature power tools set, it's ok because it'll give your mom things to write about? Seems legit."
Morning Readers,

Sometimes I think there aren't enough peanut M&Ms to get anything done, and then I find a 14oz bag, keep it to myself, and think, "Yes, today I'll be accomplishing incredible things. Downright amazing things."

-Segue alert-

Speaking of accomplishments...

(Whoa, how'd she do that? Lead into that topic, without us seeing it was coming?)

That's what all the great writers do, my friends. But, as much as I appreciate your questions, today isn't about me. It's about everyone's favorite dynamic, cowboy-monikered due, Butch and Sundance.

Have they been tyrants lately? Yes. But I like to look past the eight nervous breakdowns I had last week, self-medicate with candy canes*, and remind myself they'll grow out of this stage, get bigger, and be able to break much larger things later on. So, right now is actually pretty reasonable.

*Candy canes were used as stir sticks for my alcohol in this scenario, just in case you thought I meant peppermint can fix the demolished utensil drawer in the kitchen. It cannot.

Sundance had been preparing to meet Santa for a bit. She has a fairly good grasp of what's going to be happening around Christmas, and was sure Santa was the person she needed to speak to about a new baby doll. Butch hasn't lacked in enthusiasm, but isn't totally sure what he's enthusiastic about.

They both seemed sure they wanted to meet him. Then again, they have some of my genes, so being "sure" about something can manifest itself in different ways. Like the time I was "sure" I needed running shoes for all the times I'd be running. And I still haven't pulled any YouTube videos up to show me how I'd go about doing that.

The day before:

"We're going to see Santa."

"Yay! Santa!

The day after:

"Ok, you guys ready to see Santa?"

Sundance: Santa!

Butch: .....

"Honey? Don't you want to see Santa?"

Butch: *shakes head*

"You sure?"

Butch: *nods*

"You'd rather eat another cinnamon roll and stay where it's safe, wouldn't you?"

After procuring another cinnamon roll from the lovely people serving breakfast at the parish, I followed Sundance while she made her way ahead of me to see Santa.Worried a valuable opportunity to make a positive parenting memory was passing me by, I hurtled two parishioners and jogged to where my daughter had already begun a very serious conversation in hushed tones.

Santa nodded. Sundance nodded. And I realized my camera was dead, a terrifying fact, not because I couldn't capture the obvious cuteness, but because I was witnessing a toddler conspiring with Santa Claus to take over the world, and I had no proof.

Sundance was extremely somber when she found her way back to me. I'm not sure what was said, but I can only hope he told her he saw what happened to the kitchen drawer, and she needs to watch her step until Christmas.

She's getting the baby doll anyway. And I'm not yet desperate enough to crawl onto a stranger's lap and ask that he throw a few six packs down the chimney.

...I have Husband for that.

Until Next Time, Readers!






20 comments:

  1. If you crawl on a stranger's lap and ask for a six-pack, make sure that your camera's not dead. I made that mistake once, so needless to say, my mom got off easy that year...

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    1. Ha! I'm the worst photographer known to man. Most important family moments will have to be recounted in song, as I haven't taken half the pictures I should.

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  2. You have electricity to run power tools...& indoor plumbing? Why are you complaining?

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    1. I shouldn't be. Actually, it's kind of handy being able to drop frying pans through the open space and into the cabinet below. Now that I think about it, I might just leave things the way they are.

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  3. At least they haven't blown a train up yet.

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    1. "Yet" ...I think that's the keyword here, Tony.

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  4. I don't see any reason to get all worked up about a broken utensil drawer. I mean, with your house's upcoming journey to the center of the earth and all.

    Either way, I'm liking your idea of candy cane stir sticks.

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    1. Stir sticks fall under the "Awesome" category. As for the drawer, you're right. After a while, we'll be able to just take our silverware and throw it in the giant crater where the house used to be.

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  5. We're going to see Santa for the first time this weekend. The diva seems excited, but that excitement can turn to tears in 2 seconds flat. hmmm...maybe I should pick up some wine on the way..

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    1. Yep, I totally though Butch would be excited. but as soon as we got there, he was positive he wanted nothing to do with Santa. Then again, I can't blame the kids for being confused when I tell them not to talk to strangers ...except for the huge man in the giant, red suit. Good luck! And wine's always the right choice...:)

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  6. Yeah. My 3 y/o daughter talks a big game when it comes to seeing him...she hates that fucker. Too bad my 6 year old LOVES him and would go take a nap with him if I would let her. (wow that was not meant to be just freaking creepy!) So, we have to go see him (I hate doing it), but I have to leave the sobbing toddler near some strangers while I facilitate the older one. Yeah, wine store for sure!

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    1. A mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do. I'm sure the three-year-old will warm up to Santa about the time the six-year-old isn't interested anymore. Then you can send one to go get the wine, while you coordinate the Santa visit for the other. I'm being optimistic here....;)

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  7. Both my kids actually were so good seeing Santa this year, but still kind of shock on that one. But loved your description of the scenario and by the way, why does the camera battery always die at times like this?? Seriously, thanks for sharing!!

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    1. If I could just remember to charge my camera, things like births, graduations, and holidays would be able to remembered around here. But, like I said before, we'll gather round and sing about all those heroic deeds. Viking style.

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  8. Mmm, I love a good candy cane stir stick in a liquered up mug of coco! Let's just hope that Sundance isn't plotting with Santa to dominate the world for the Aztecs on the 21st, but if she is, then good on her for being up to date on the the latest apocalyptic theories! (although I think most toddlers are now days!)

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    1. I know no person knows the actual time of the Apocalypse ...but I bet the toddlers have a hand in it...LOL

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  9. You're such a good mama - for me to take the kids near Santa would take a looooooot of candy canes. ;)

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  10. My co-op playgroup sponsors Santa's visit to my town. And yours truly is one of Santa's elves. I help take pictures of all the kids. Oh, the stories I could tell. And probably will tell on my blog.

    Anyway, my kids are in awe that I'm "in" with the Big Jolly Guy. Believe me, I use this to my advantage aaaalllll season. Hell, all YEAR. But ours never know from their recent behavior. *sigh*

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  11. Oh to be a fly on the wall for that one. My kids wouldn't go near Santa, so I sat on his lap. You know, to show them how it works.

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  12. As I was laughing and admiring your genius of using candy canes as stirrers, it dawned on me that we haven't taken the kids to see Santa. Uhhhhh...there's still PLENTY of time, right?

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