Monday, February 25, 2013

The Second Annual Kellerman Awards

On my way in to accept the award for "Most Days Without a Shower in a Romantic Comedy or Horror"

Afternoon Readers,

I hope you wore your best pajama, yoga, or parachute pants, because it's that time again.


Yes, exactly. Good guess. I do need to go buy milk, but it's also award season, and, while I could re-hash the Academy Awards from last night, that wouldn't leave me enough time to hold the Second Annual Kellerman Awards.

What's a Kellerman award?

Why, my darlings, only the most prestigious, thinly-veiled reference to how life's beating up on me, wrapped in a package of sarcasm, and only slightly hiding the fact it's mimicking the actual Academy Awards. Delightful stuff. Very high-brow.

Anywho, let's get to it. The statuettes I made out of bread slices and bendy straws can't hold themselves together forever.

 Winners of This Year's Kellerman no particular order

 Best Actor: Doc Kellerman for his ground-breaking role in Sleep is for the Weak

Best Supporting Actress: Sundance Kellerman in That Wasn't Me In the Cabinets, or was it?

Best Actor in a Comedy: Butch Kellerman in Poop's Sometimes Funny When It's on the Floor

Best Actress: Paige Kellerman for her role in Why Do They Keep Calling Me Mom?
Best Foreign Language Film: Ba Ba Ba (A Baby's Repeated Search For His Toes)

Best Makeup: Sundance Kellerman for her work in One Woman's Foundation is Another One's Lipstick

Best Costume Design: Sundance Kellerman for her work in This Top is a Skirt. This Skirt is a Shirt

Best Visual Effects: Doc Kellerman for his work in A Diaper Too Late: One Poop's Journey from Changing Table to Wall

Best Documentary: Don't Even Look at the Kids: What to Do When Your Husband Has the Flu

Best Picture: Paige Kellerman: Almost Dead and Loving It

Wondering who won last year? Click here at your own risk.

Until Next Time, Readers!