|On my way in to accept the award for "Most Days Without a Shower in a Romantic Comedy or Horror"|
I hope you wore your best pajama, yoga, or parachute pants, because it's that time again.
Yes, exactly. Good guess. I do need to go buy milk, but it's also award season, and, while I could re-hash the Academy Awards from last night, that wouldn't leave me enough time to hold the Second Annual Kellerman Awards.
What's a Kellerman award?
Why, my darlings, only the most prestigious, thinly-veiled reference to how life's beating up on me, wrapped in a package of sarcasm, and only slightly hiding the fact it's mimicking the actual Academy Awards. Delightful stuff. Very high-brow.
Anywho, let's get to it. The statuettes I made out of bread slices and bendy straws can't hold themselves together forever.
Best Actor: Doc Kellerman for his ground-breaking role in Sleep is for the Weak
Best Supporting Actress: Sundance Kellerman in That Wasn't Me In the Cabinets, or was it?
Best Actor in a Comedy: Butch Kellerman in Poop's Sometimes Funny When It's on the Floor
Best Actress: Paige Kellerman for her role in Why Do They Keep Calling Me Mom?
Best Foreign Language Film: Ba Ba Ba (A Baby's Repeated Search For His Toes)
Best Makeup: Sundance Kellerman for her work in One Woman's Foundation is Another One's Lipstick
Best Costume Design: Sundance Kellerman for her work in This Top is a Skirt. This Skirt is a Shirt
Best Visual Effects: Doc Kellerman for his work in A Diaper Too Late: One Poop's Journey from Changing Table to Wall
Best Documentary: Don't Even Look at the Kids: What to Do When Your Husband Has the Flu
Best Picture: Paige Kellerman: Almost Dead and Loving It
Wondering who won last year? Click here at your own risk.
Until Next Time, Readers!