Monday, March 4, 2013

A Few Extra Pounds

I wrote you a song. It's called, "Stop feeding the dog Pop tarts."
Afternoon Readers,

I'm taking a brief timeout from a horrendously unsuccessful nap time to say hello and confirm the fact that, yes, right now, playing in traffic sounds delightful.

Thanks for asking.

But enough about me and how tempting the liquor's looking before 3pm. I need to tell you how awful am as a dog owner, as well. I know what you're thinking, "Paige, how can you be a horrible dog owner, when you're so great at raising children via chicken nuggets and half-listening to everything they say?"

How, indeed. It was brought to our attention this weekend, that the dog is overweight. By fifteen pounds. Which, as I've been informed, is a lot. Husband let me know when he brought Flea huff puffing back from the vet.

"So, he was very well behaved, but he's also fat."

I stopped making the bed. "That's good."

"That's actually bad."

"I've always taken it as a compliment."

Husband looked at the dog. "I bought him diet food and a new bowl on the way home. We just have to keep a close watch on how much he's eating."

"Are you saying he won't be available for after dinner cleanups?"


"What about breakfast and lunch detail?"

"No. He'll have to find some other way to volunteer."

I sighed and began tucking corners back into the quilt. "Being healthy, whatever that means, is all well and good, but this is going to leave me short of a kitchen floor cleaner and mangled Pop tart-eater. Do you know how hard those are to replace?"

"I know that the dog is fat."

"Weren't his parents just really big dogs?"

"They were also fat."


When I'm fifteen pounds over my ideal, no one cares. When the dog tips the scales, it's "responsibility" this, and "don't feed the dog butter" that. Blah blah blah.

I'll let you know how it goes.

Until Next Time, Readers!


  1. A friend introduced me to your blog a month or so back and i have to say i always have a chuckle at it. And again today you haven't let me down.
    I would like to say (without meaning to be interfering) that a good diet to feed your dog on is raw. Lots more people are now taking it up as it has really good health benefits. It's natural, cleans their teeth and helps to reduce bad breath. I feed mine a combination of this and Ziwipeak. This is a freeze dried raw food of very high quality, its also not very expensive when you compare it to the cost of the "diet" foods that vets recomend. Lots of dog foods on the market contain a very large amount of grains which are not ideal as they wouldn't be consumed in large quantities in the wild.
    Please don't feel i'm judging or being rude i just hoped to offer a little of what i have learnt along the way.
    C x

    1. That's actually really great advice. We got the diet food, but if it's not working or he doesn't like it and we need to try something else, this will be our next option. I'm so glad you found my little corner of the internet! ...:)

  2. But, but, but... that's why we have dogs. Do you mean we're going to have to start vacuuming and stuff?

    1. Sue, I feel your pain so deeply, it's painful. I'm going to actually have to bend over and pick up all those discarded waffles. I think I might weep.

  3. Well cheese and rice. I thought was the whole point. How else are they supposed to earn their keep? Fiercely loyal companionship? Pffft.

  4. See the only reason that I would have a dog right about now is to be able to clean up after my kids post meal time, lol!! But seriously can't even imagine what it entails trying to put a dog on a diet, when I have a hard enough time keeping track of myself on a diet!!

  5. I can so relate to this!! Our dogs were deemed overweight by our vet and we had to buy the (suuuuper expensive) diet food and be careful that they didn't eat people food. Try telling that to two toddlers who feed the mutts from their forks. Sigh. Good luck!!!

  6. This is the perfect time to teach the kiddos to just eat the fattening food and only throw the healthy stuff on the floor so the dog can get healthy! I see no holes in this plan.

  7. Here's another thought. Perhaps your puppy has thyroid issues. Ours did. He takes thyroid meds now, twice a day, and the weight just dropped off him. And--even though he's 9 years old this year--he is playing and interacting like a much younger dog again. I had no idea dogs could have this problem before ours did. I just wish that I could blame my extra 20 pounds on thyroid.......


  8. Hello! First time reader here! And I can TOTALLY relate to this post! Our little dog is 3 yes, THREE pounds overweight and were getting in "trouble" for it. Sure she's a small dog, but really? And losing out on the crumb-cleaner is really a HUGE loss. Seriously. Maybe you can talk your husband into hiring a maid now...although the price of the "diet" food probably takes all the cleaning lady money away :)