Monday, April 8, 2013

The Mysterious Goings-On of Mr. Salvador Perez


Morning Readers,

There's an old saying that goes, "If a Kellerman adopts an animal, there's a seventy-eight percent chance they'll misplace it."

I'm pretty sure I saw that etched on a wall somewhere.

At any rate, while I was cleaning our deck in the warm weather and contemplating whether patio furniture actually needs cushions or if guests don't mind sitting down and falling all the way through, I received a phone call from Husband, informing me he'd decided to decide on a cat before I decided we needed to decide together.

Excellent.

I finished cleaning, all the while wondering whether it would be a beast of a thing which would attack unprovoked, or so docile, we'd say "Hi" to it, and the poor thing would keel over out of shock. One never really knows what one is getting when the pet adoption process occurs.

Out of respect, when Husband got home, I kept the kids away while the cat was introduced to his free reign of the garage and basement, food, and litter box. We held a family meeting, christened our new ink black cat, "Salvador Perez," and enjoyed listening to twins try to say his name out loud.

And then we lost him.

Husband stared at me on Sunday morning. "You haven't see a cat around here, have you?"

"I trust you're referring to the cat we just bought. Short? Furry? Traditionally bad luck, but that didn't deter you in the slightest?"

"Yes, that one. I've looked everywhere. He's gone."

"But he just got here."

"I know."

"We're really bad at this."

The rest of Sunday was spent checking all crevices, drawers, and under engine hoods. All the doors had been locked. Had he booked a flight on Southwest and not even written a note? That was a fine how-do-you-do.

Could cats write? 

By the end of the day, I'd accepted the fact the Kellermans were, unequivocally, the worst cat owners in the world and decided that, if I ever ran into this particular cat again, I'd buy him a drink to commend him on one of the finest disappearing acts since the year my waist checked out.

Miraculously, as the sun set on both the house and my fervor for caring for small animals, Husband emerged victoriously from the garage and declared Salvador Perez to not only be alive, but had discovered a hiding spot behind a set of cabinets.

Cheers to you, Mr Salvador Perez. Welcome to the Split-level ...and may the odds be ever in your favor.

Until Next Time, Readers!


20 comments:

  1. If Mr. Salvador Perez was indeed hiding, I believe he has a TOTAL understanding of his new surroundings. I wish him luck!!

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    1. Except, when I hide, everyone always finds me and tells me to make dinner. Perhaps I can train Sal to cook?

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  2. I had same experience having lost a cat that I had just adopted. I searched everywhere, including the neighbor's apartments and the shared laundry room. No cat. The next day I found him snoozing between on a bookshelf in the 3 inch gap between the books and the shelf above them and behind the little strip of wood that hung down. How the giant adult cat fit in there, I'll never know. Jerk.

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    1. How they fit into those spaces, I'll never know. I saw his hiding spot, and I'm actually pretty impressed.

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  3. I was sooo looking forward to this proper introduction today! Mr. Perez is quite a looker. I hope he survives the Split-Level ;)

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    1. I hope so too. But the success rate he's having with hiding is making me jealous.

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  4. Monie hid under my desk for the first few hours I had her as well, lending me false hope that she would forever do the anti-social cat thing. Lies, all lies! Once she emerged, she never went back. Now it's me hiding under the desk...

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    1. So far, Salvador has decided to be anti-social, although he did let me pet him and he ate dinner in front of Husband and I, looking extremely annoyed.

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  5. Loved this! Sounds like he fits right in :)

    And the name? Amazing.

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    1. In true Husband style, the cat has been named after a Royal's player. It seems to suit him, though he shows no signs of wanting to play baseball.

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  6. He survived! At least, until next time!

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  7. Pet ownership is eversomuch easier when you never have to see your pet! I can't wait to get our cats together for a play date - first things first, I'm going to need Sal to teach Chauncey to hide.

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    1. Perhaps I should give Mr. Perez his own FB page? His does need to expand his social circle.

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  8. Salvador is a much nicer name than my cat's name, which is Dumbass. I hope Sal lives up to his name. Cats do that, mine especially.

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  9. Boy, pets bring drama and entertainment, don't they? Glad things worked out and that Mr. Salvador decided to stick around!
    Justin Knight- Writing Pad Dad
    Writing Pad Dad Blog

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  10. I think if you apply yourselves you'll have that cat playing baseball in no time. Ellen

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  11. Well, with a name like Mr. Salvador Perez, he is obviously an international spy. The cabinets in the garage really should have been the first place you looked.

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  12. That is the best cat name.

    I hope he turns out to be a South American despot dictating harsh punishments to vermin.

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