Monday, April 15, 2013

Time to Shear the Baby


"Nap times. Nap times are the worst."
Afternoon Readers,

I thought I'd take a brief timeout from trying to load Pez into dispensers, to fill you in on one of the weekend's exploits.

Oh, you don't fill your Pez dispensers on Monday?

...Tuesday?

The fact is, Doc's hair got out of control. Freakishly thick and curly, the mop on our seven-month-old's head had taken a turn from Chia Pet-cute, right into the land of mistaken identities.

Often, I'd be making breakfast, turn around, and be confused by the person sitting in the rolly seat behind me. "Albert Brooks?" I'd inquire.

He'd wave a toy at me, "Daaaa."

I'd hand him a teething biscuit. "I loved your work in The Muse."

On Saturday, Husband and I finally took a look at the smallest Kellerman, and decided the boy needed an intervention.

"He looks like a cotton ball."
"But it is cute when he rubs the back of his head and makes dreadlocks when he's frustrated."
"He looks like he stuck his finger in a light socket."
I considered. "You're right. He doesn't need to look like me any sooner than he needs to."

And so, for the next fifteen minutes, we held down a very angry, beet-red baby, and sheared him like the fat sheep he is.

The result?

We now own our very own Albert Brooks with a Mohawk.

Until Next Time, Readers!

14 comments:

  1. Are you shear--I mean sure--he didn't say "baaaa" instead of "daaaa"? PETA wants to know!!

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    1. I'm sure PETA would be horrified by the haircut we gave that poor little sheep.

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  2. I almost took my own little guy for a haircut the other day. Usually his longish hair is cute, but the other day he veered very dangerously into Trump territory and I simply cannot relive that. It's bad enough that his older brother's third grade school photographer made him look like Ted Koppel.

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    1. The "Ted Koppel" crossed with "The Trump" can lull the public into thinking kids know more about real estate and current news than they usually do. You did the right thing.

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  3. With shearing on my mind (we are now working out the shearing schedule of our alpacas) the title of your post caught my eye. At least a Mohawk is trendy and you didn't create a mullet. See? Always silver lining.

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    1. You have alpacas? I love alpacas! Used to drive by an alpaca farm all the time, but that was another life.

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  4. Will you come over and trim M's bangs? I've had too much coffee to hold scissors reliably, but I haven't seen her face in days.

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    1. What, and possibly mess with her cuteness? Never!

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  5. I should have read this AFTER I took my son to get his hair cut. If you don't hear from me again, it's because I have entered myself in witness protection due to the shear (get it?) humiliation of a public grooming. Wish us luck. And then send vodka.

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    1. I'm in love with all the puns we've created here today. It was worth it for the shear enjoyment of the thing. Womp womp.

      Sending vodka now.

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  6. I hope no sheep (or comedians) were injured during this situation;)
    Vicky
    www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com

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    1. Only one sheepish comedian, and nobody noticed. So we're good.

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  7. I cut my son's hair once. Note I say "once". I didn't realize there is this thing called a "hairline" that you have to sort of pay attention to. My husband commented that our one year old now looked like an escaped mental patient and asked me to please not do it again.

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    1. The hairline's tricky. We're still working on that fine art. With all the flailing around the baby did, I'm surprised we cut the sides in anything that resembled a straight line.

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