Monday, April 29, 2013

Top Ten Worst Gifts to Give at a Baby Shower

"Diapers? No, I thought this dog in a sweater would be a better gift."

Morning Readers,

How was everyone's weekend? I hauled the twins around in a little red wagon until I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

It was the longest three minutes of my life.

But enough about my fit and active lifestyle. Also worth mentioning is the baby shower I dragged Doc to on Saturday. One of my best friends in the entire world is expecting and is just silly enough to assume I won't steal her adorable newborn and raise it as my own, so she invites me to her social events. It was a fantastic time, even though Doc was standoffish as usual, prompting some to ask...

"Does he always growl like that?"

"We don't get out much."

"Why's that?"

"I blog."

"I didn't know you were Swedish."

Milling around and loading up on free food aside, I feel as though I should share some wisdom I've gathered from the many baby showers I've attended and taken advantage of dozens of free cupcakes at. I've put together a quick gift-giving guide for that special, swollen, haven't-seen-her-because-she-lives-in-the-bathroom lady in your life.

Top Ten Worst Gifts to Give at a Baby Shower

  1. 'Dry clean only' baby outfits
  2. Diaper cakes you shellacked so they'll stay that way forever (it took a lot of time to balance those Luvs, especially because the margaritas made everything all wavy).
  3. "I'm 99% sure he's my daddy" onesies
  4. Solar powered baby monitors
  5. "Do It Yourself Baby Blanket Knitting Kit: Needles sold separately"
  6. "My Baby Can Draw!" permanent marker set
  7. Diaper Genie refills you made yourself after finding a tutorial on Pinterest. 
  8. Baby bathtub made from upcycled milk jugs and whatever's left from the Diaper Genie refill project
  9. Lowrise, hip-hugger jeans emblazoned with, "Mommy" on the back pockets
  10. A sleep mask and dream interpretation journal

To my knowledge, no one gave my friend any of these things, but, to be fair, that seventh cupcake was a little distracting. 

Until Next Time, Readers!



33 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I just wish the baby would lighten up. He's so serious, anytime we go anywhere. Eight-month-olds are so moody.

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  2. So you're saying that #9 is like a fashion faux pas.... well crap.

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    1. I've gotten differing options on that. For myself, I need the highest of waists to keep the belly in check. I say, as long as the bedazzled "Mommy" is nixed, anything goes.

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  3. Whew! I'm relieved that my traditional gift of a 6-pack of beer and frozen pizza wasn't on the list. Winning!

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    Replies
    1. If you brought that to my baby shower, you'd be the guest of honor.

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  4. I love this list so hard... although I probably would've made my kids wear #3 for my own amusement. I did make a onesie for M that said, "Sorry ladies, my daddy's taken" and put it on her every time he took her anywhere.

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    Replies
    1. Genius. I think I might make a couple of those for Doc.

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  5. Replies
    1. Aww, you're making me blush, Elona. Thank you!

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  6. I love your sense of humor and anything that says 'dry clean only'. Especially when it's for children. xo

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    Replies
    1. We only buy dry clean only clothes, daaaaahling. If I wanted to cry myself to sleep,that is.

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  7. You made my day. Permanent markers, indeed.

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    Replies
    1. I bet that set doesn't sell very frequently...;)

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  8. Mmmmmm cup cakes.....
    <3 Devan

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  9. Couldn't get past cupcakes, lol!! But seriously great list :)

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    Replies
    1. If there's a cupcake in the room, it's hard for me to move on to anything else.

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  10. Replies
    1. As long as they're for the baby, it's ok.

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  11. The low-riding jeans are a BAD thing?! I've got a muffin top that would argue that point.

    P.S. I dragged my kids around in a wagon all weekend until someone STOLE it! Do you believe someone stole a friggin' kid's wagon? This is irrelevant but I felt the need to share it anyway.

    Carry on :)

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    Replies
    1. I saw that about the wagon! Who does that??? We just got one of those, and replacing it would be one of the last things I'd even want to think about doing right now. I feel for you, my friend...:(

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  12. I find that the low-rise jeans kind of prop up the overhanging belly. I'll skip the rhinestone-encrusted "Mommy" across the ass though.

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    Replies
    1. True. They can have a nice "propping" effect...:)

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  13. i got a giant box of sanitary napkins from my MIL at my first baby shower - like the kind of box that has the 16 smaller boxes of pads IN it ... she';s a peach, my MIL ... OY! (yeah, she didnt get invited to the next 2 baby showers ...)

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  14. This is awesome! I especially love #'s 1 and 3. The worst baby gift I ever got was from my ex mother in law. At my baby shower she presented me with a box full of used baby items she collected from garage sales and Goodwill, which would've been fine except that they were so filthy, stained and smelly that you were afraid to touch them without rubber gloves and a face mask. Money wasn't an issue for them so i'm not sure why she felt so generous but I threw the box away when I got home.

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  15. Hi there,One gift that can never go wrong is diapers! A lot of diapers!! Indeed sizes that are not newborn are great on the grounds that you will inevitably need them and are constantly happy to pull them out when the supply is low.Good day.
    ~Lisa Moore.

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