Monday, May 6, 2013

If It Prospectively Fits, It Ships

Susan was upset the floral-print blouse she ordered didn't compliment the monkey as well as she'd hoped.

Morning Readers,

It's only 10am, and I'm already out of coffee. Which only goes to show that letting your spouse have a cup on his way out the door is a terrible idea. This isn't some sort of half-way house. What am I doing handing out coffee like I didn't want to drink all eight cups?

Get it together, Paige.

However, we gather here today to talk about shopping online, that dangerous yet exhilarating pastime akin to rolling the dice or asking Helen Keller to trim your bangs. Perhaps you don't enjoy it as much as I do, but, due to my current station in life, getting out to actual stores usually presents a problem.

What was that? No, I'm only doing one Hellen Keller joke today.

Let's not get sidetracked. As much as I adore jumping on Amazon and clicking on the next thing to be thrown at my doorstep, I tend not to have the best luck with clothing, or rather, sizing.

Do I ever read the sizing charts?


Do I distinguish between European and American sizing?


Is there a chance I see my body one way, and order things to fit this mirage?


I mention my finely-honed shopping skills only to showcase that I actually had a success this weekend. That's right. After employing twine and a measuring tape from Husband's tool box, my dimensions were carefully calculated and ordered accordingly.  Hips, waist, length from joist to crossbeam, all accounted for.

So, when this little gem arrived, I didn't have to plyer and crowbar it over my form.

By the way, this post is not sponsored by these dress people. I'm just really excited I finally made a purchase I don't have to send back, turn into hamster bedding, or cut in half and make different yet complimentary potholders out of. And the reviews are in...

"It looks nice." - Husband

So there you have it. If you take measurements, there's a good chance you'll end up with something that's not just a monetary donation to one particular business or another.

Until Next Time, Readers!


  1. Helen Keller cut my bangs!! They looked like this:

    1. LOL ...I might have paid someone who did that same thing once.

  2. "After employing twine and a measuring tape from Husband's tool box,"

    You have no idea how many times I have actually done this. :)

    1. I seriously did it. Who needs a fancy cloth tape measure? Not I.

  3. I bet your joist and crossbeam look lovely in that outfit. :) Ellen

  4. That husband of yours sure does have a way with words, amirite?

    1. Hahaha He's actually much funnier than portrayed. But, like I have to remind him, he's my straight man. Them's the breaks.

  5. This isn't some kind of halfway house!! Bahahahahaha!!!!!! I'm constantly ordering stuff online. Most most recent fail was a bathing can imagine why. Hello winter hips, meet the Mom Suit that will stretch to the death to flatter you. Sigh.

  6. Is that a one-piece that looks like a two-piece that would make me look like I know how to match clothes? Need one! Wait, does it go with flip flops? If not, never mind. I suck at shoes.

  7. This is why I shop at Target. Kids get popcorn and I can buy clothes, lightbulbs and, if I'm feeling sassy and can pull myself away from the candle aisle, lingerie. I may have to venture into the tool box though if I can get something as cute as what you bought. And i see your husband went to the same linguistics academy mine did! What year did he graduate?

  8. I do any and all shopping I can online. I hate taking my kids to the store/mall with me. I've gone so far as to have an amazon prime membership and another with so I can get free returns too....because why would I want to differentiate between US/European sizes?

    I have realized though that I might be ordering too much when, after a week of no deliveries, my UPS guy told me Monday that he was "worried when I didn't see you last week..."

  9. I might just start shopping for all my clothes at Costco, so lil' man can stuff his face with samples and I only can choose between two options.

  10. Ugh - online shopping! For me that usually means online returning. Glad you had luck and such a cute dress, too!

  11. information that is very valuable to me ! good luck and verygood website دانلود فیلتر شکن