Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Fanmail Wednesday and The Hall of Cankles

"Dear Justin Timberlake ....Thank you for bringing sexy back."
Afternoon Readers,

You know what I realized while I ate my flax seed waffle and peanut butter this morning?

Well, obviously. The word "flax" is just fun to say. Flaaaaaaax. But, no.

It occurred to me we haven't done a Fanmail Day in quite some time. I also said that the last time we did a Fanmail day, so I'm starting to think it's not so much I'm forgetting to do them, as the nature of the thing has become to only do them once a century. Yes. that sounds good.

Remember, kids. If you put a giant, shiny bow on procrastination, it becomes ingenuity.

That also sounded good and not accurate at all. Ok, where was I?

Ahh, yes. Time to answer your burning questions sent via Google search engine. In case you're wondering, I don't get offended you don't ask me in person. Queries submitted by inadvertently finding this website are just fine with me. That's what friends do.

  1.) "At least my belly hides my cankles"

I'm so glad you asked. The book's doing great, was squeaking by Tina Fey in "essays" for Kindle earlier today, and was at #17 in "Parenting Humor," last time I checked. This is mainly because I have the best Readers south of the North Pole and north of the South Pole.

2.) "Where thatdeli"

We don't have a whole lot of delis around here, but you're probably talking about the Subway off 119th. It's ok. I mean, if you're looking for somewhere that looks the other way while a grown woman buys chocolate milk to go with her lunch, they're cool.

3.) “paper bag over my head”

It was one time. And, to be honest, remembering a decent makeup routine before you go on a date is extremely stressful.

4.) "Cheating on my hairstylist"

Yes, I did this in December, but you don't have to keep bring it up. My roots are doing that for me. But, since you mention it, I'm going to see The Keeper of the Locks tomorrow, so details on that later.

5.) Liz Taylor giant

Not to my knowledge. Although, her hair was pretty huge in those White Diamonds commercials.

Ok, last order of business. In the next few days, I'll be starting a "Hall of Cankles" section right here on the blog. So, if you or someone you love (or like a little bit ...I'm not picky) have a picture of you or  themselves reading a copy of the book, please submit it to paigekellerman@gmail.com.*

* I solemnly swear to only use them to show my overwhelming gratitude to you guys and for blatant self-promotion.

Until Next Time, Readers!