Tuesday, June 18, 2013

How To Almost Not Be On TV

A great way to sell books is to have whatever TV station you're working with confuse you with a mass murderer.

Afternoon Readers,

Well, it happened. But just barely. While I sit here and eat bits of rotisserie chicken, I can't help reflect on yesterday's undertaking. And, while I could wax eloquently about my journey from coffee pot to screen, it's really better I put it in a list.

1.) Wake children up at ungodly hour. While same offspring are eating breakfast, try to do your hair. Realize that child is throwing up downstairs. Put hair in crappy ponytail.

2.) Convince all children that, although the sun's not up, it's time to get dressed and get in the van. Throw all things needed to get ready into the van. It's fine. You're still running on schedule.

3.) Drop all children off, get dressed, realize you are now running behind schedule, and you also have no idea where you're going.

4.) Ten minutes before you're supposed to be at the studio, call Husband and say sweet things like:

"I have no idea where I'm going and they're going to hate me."

"I don't know why I ever thought I could be a writer."

"What do you mean the GPS needs to be set to Missouri and not Kansas?"

5.) Relieved, you're back on track and the Garmin says you'll be there two minutes late. Not bad.

6.) Hit downtown Kansas City construction and freak out. Bad.

7.) Do makeup while trying to figure out if the people behind you are honking angrily or applauding your skill with foundation.

8.) Get call from producer wondering where you are, almost get hit by another car, desperately try not to weep as you realize your segment was supposed to begin, um, now.

9.) Find TV station, thrown on heels no one will see, sprint through door, and be greeted with, "You're on right now."

10.) Drop microphone down dress, plop down in front of room full of news folk, realize you didn't put on any eyeliner. Start talking.


And so it went. Hectic? Yes. But I loved every minute of it and I'm ready for Kathy Lee and Hoda whenever they'll have me. Oh, and in case you're wondering, they told me they don't post clips online anymore, so you'll just have to have faith I looked a hot mess in front of the Metro area.

Until Next Time, Readers!



22 comments:

  1. AAHHHH! That's so crazy and exciting! So cool to see your name, and then Author as your title. Congrats Paige!

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    1. Thanks, Colleen! I have to say it was a little bit weird seeing that title under my name ...and also that I may have been involved in a massacre.

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  2. No one's confused!! Mass murders ALWAYS wear eyeliner. So no worries. :)

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    1. It's like a weight's been lifted from my shoulders, Tracy...:)

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  3. How exciting!! Congratulations! I love that you had this big interview yet you had to rush to get the kids ready and to the sitter, tried to do your make-up and got lost!!! That is really what being a mom is all about isn't it? No matter what is going on in our professional lives, we are moms first!! Thanks for sharing a great post!

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    1. Always a mom first. I only had time to blow dry and curl the front of my hair, and the back was a mess. By the time I got there, the whole thing needed hair 911.

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  4. Is there any way we can see the clip?

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    1. Unfortunately, this station said they stopped posting their guests clips online, so I'm super sad I don't have anything but screen shots to show. You would've been proud though. I didn't drool on myself once.

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  5. Would also love to see the clip and yay for a great experience after a bit of craziness!! :)

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    1. I know, I'm soooo bummed I have nothing to link to. I just hope you guys don't think I'm a big fat liar...lol

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  6. HOLY SH*T!! And congratulations! You are inspiring...

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  7. Congratulations!! That's very cool and I love that you pulled it off with not a moment to spare. That's some fierce working mom action right there Ms. Kellerman. Hi 5.

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  8. YAYAYA!! Awesome job mama! Congratulations!

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  9. Oh man, I feel your pain on the whole stressed about being late for something super significant. Gah! How exciting to have a TV interview for a book you wrote!!!

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  10. "Suspect in disappearance still wanted by the police!" That seems a bit harsh when you were only 10 minutes late. And, the suspect in your own disappearance was you. They could have called off the Fox News police once you arrived, no?

    I so wish I could have been there to see this and drive you to the station. You would have been on time. SO happy for you, Paige.

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  12. You're so awesome!! My canckles and thickening with joy over your accomplishment!! I may not have been here from the beginning but I'm so glad to be along for the ride!!
    Vicky
    http://thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com

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  13. If it wasn't hectic, it wouldn't be normal, right? Congrats!

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  14. Congrats fellow ex-co-worker and Toastmaster member!!!! ;-)

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