Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Take Us Out to the Ballgame ...if you're brave enough

When your internet isn't working, you take the first free picture you can find off Wikipedia. In this case, that free thing is a giant baseball. Enjoy.


Afternoon Readers,

My internet is doing the dance of death today, so if there are more disjointed thoughts than usual in this post, please know that it’s a technology problem and not my usual literary prowess.

Now then, by way of wearing tinfoil hat while holding onto my computer, my faulty signal and I shall try and relay this past weekend’s events. Because what’s better than toting three kids under four to their first baseball game?

Besides pajama jeans.

Right, so initially I branded Husband’s plan to grab the tickets, throw jerseys on our little fan club and position them in front of neatly kept grass as a tad bit crazy. But after we nixed thoughts of leaving them on the neighbor’s lawn, we found ourselves color-coordinated and on the way to Kauffman stadium.

Guest Announcer: Folks, this one for the record books. Let's see what happened...

1st Inning:  All children are assigned seats and distributed one soft pretzel with cheese. The baby finishes his formula and thinks it might be nice to try and throw his bottle at the row in front of us.  Play ball.

2nd Inning: Fastest game in history of I Spy is recorded. i.e. “I spy something white and it’s home plate!”

3rd Inning : Sundance declares she is not a fan of pretzels and cheese but will try and entertain the baby, who’s eagerly trying to crawl under the seats and go home with someone from the opposing team.

4th Inning: Fly ball lands right next to our seats. Husband makes it clear that he would’ve had it, but chose to protect Sundance instead. He seems slightly conflicted about this, but hides his shifty eyes in a conveniently-placed beer glass.

5th Inning: I go to the bathroom four times in this inning. None of these trips are to relieve myself, but to watch futilely the children who claim to have to go, yet miraculous don’t have to once we make it to the stall. The doorman looks confused until I explain with, “It’s ok. I didn’t want to watch the game anyway.”

6th Inning: The baby begins clapping and cheering, sure that the thousands of others clapping and cheering are finally recognizing how hilarious he is.

7th Inning: The Kellermans tap out and head to the fountains to dunk all three toasty children.

Final Score: This author is unsure, but thinks it may have been something close to 2 melted chocolate malts to 3 sips of her own drink.

But still, we’ll call it a success.

Until Next Time, Readers!

16 comments:

  1. And this is why I haven't taken my kids to baseball games yet, because I figure restaurants are all the fun I can handle, lol!!

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    1. Restaurants are their own seven inning ball game, Jenine.

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  2. I still can't believe you took the whole clan and came home with all the little people that you took. MVP for you!

    One year when I was little we went to Tiger Stadium for my birthday and my FAVORITE player hit a foul ball right at my dad. Perfect, right? He ducked. That pretty much explains how he was.

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    1. I definitely gave myself a mental pat on the back for bringing home everyone we originally took with us. But I have a feeling my other half's still a little bit torn about not going after that baseball...;)

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  3. I'm glad to hear that a good time was had by all!!

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    1. A good time had by all, and ice cream spread over a seven foot radius.

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  4. We're taking our kids to a game in a few weeks. I'm not looking forward to it, as I'm not capable of finding the funny in such fiascoes as you. How 'bout if you come along and babysit or at least take notes?

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    1. You can do it!...:) And I'll only tag along if you get me a hot dog and a serving of ice cream in those little bowls shaped like baseball helmets.

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  5. I've always thought that baseball should be three innings long. Second inning stretch? Sounds good to me.

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  6. If it were three innings long, I have a feeling Husband would talk me into it a lot more. And then my diet would mainly consist of pretzels and cheese.

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  7. I have a great fear of baseball games with children...mainly because I don't enjoy them that much myself, and don't want to annoy everyone else who wants to watch the game...ha!

    Visiting from Camp Patton's Blog!

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