Monday, September 16, 2013

Date Night For One: An Entry From the World's Shoddiest Movie Reviewer

Afternoon Readers,

It's 11am, do you know where your coffee is? I do. There's a pot of it already in my belly, so let's get started.

No, this post has nothing to do with coffee, so I apologize for that first sentence. It was misleading. 

Instead, take my hand and walk with me to a brand new topic. That's better. Now that we've turned the corner, you can clearly see we're about ready to talk about movies. Shh, don't lie. You can clearly see it. And really, if you'd just stop trying to tie me down to something concrete I could ask you something.

Do you and your other half enjoy watching the same movies?

Husband and I watch quite a few of them together, but I'll readily admit there's a divide when it comes to certain genres. For instance, if my love suggests we watch a gangster movie, I'll usually respond with something like, "I can't. I need to take the van through the car wash."

And he'll say. "But it's ten o'clock at night. They're all closed."

And I'll say. "I know."

On the other side of the coin, if I ask Husband if he wants to watch anything that starts with "BBC" or "It's British and you're going to love it," he'll usually shake his head.

"But I bought you an authentic riding coat and open-necked shirt so we could reenact the last scene of the Colin Firth version of Pride and Predudice together after we watch all six hours," I protest.

He doesn't respond because he's hiding in the garage somewhere and his voice is muffled behind the brooms and shovels.

Occasionally, however, we have weekends like this one where Husband was exhausted, went to bed early both nights, and left me to my own movie selection.


Not that I don't miss his company, but the opportunity afforded me to sample two different selections, all the while clutching a large glass of Yellowtail in one hand, and an even larger chocolate bar from Aldi in the other.

Let's take an in-depth look at what I watched and the parallels between the two:

Anna Karenina ( 2012)

I loved this film. From the costuming, to the carefully-selected fake mustaches on everyone, this stylized adaptation doesn't disappoint. I give it three chocolate bars.*

Something To Talk About (1995)

I can't say I loved or even liked this film. What I do know is that it had Julia Roberts and Julia Robert's megawatt smile in it. Dennis Quaid's mullet co-starred. I give it one chocolate bar*.

Although, from the get-go, both of these films seemed the same, I soon found that each script explored a completely different theme and had different actors. Anna Karenina used horses to enhance the beauty of the scenery, while Something To Talk About used horses to distract from Dennis Quaid's performance.

Both female leads dealt with tough situations, but I did find (spoiler alert) that Anna's demise by throwing herself in front of an oncoming train seemed to leave the movie watcher with a heavier heart than Julia Robert's character, Grace, closing out her film by eating poached pears.

I'm not sure what films I'll be reviewing in the future, but I'm hoping that my next date alone give me a chance to share some wonderful film combinations, such as The Great Gatsby and Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead.

*Rating system is based on the fact the more excited I am about a film, the more I tend to eat. 

Until Next Time, Readers!