Tuesday, October 15, 2013

In Session

"We'll now take a short recess for the new episode of Bubble Guppies."

Afternoon Readers,

While I deal with the financial Rubik's Cube that is our house situation, I've found my thoughts over the last week have been somewhat short of linear, and more along the lines of, "I think I left the house without shoes on again."

Move or stay? Fix the foundation problem or continue blogging from China? I can only hope the Chinese government welcomes us with open arms, when, much to their amazement, the Split level comes flying out of the ground and positions itself, teetering, somewhere on the Great Wall.

The children, as it turns out, don't particularly care whether the house is collapsing, and continue instead to make ridiculous requests. This week, I tried desperately to form them into a counsel of sorts, but I'm afraid we're getting nowhere.

*Bangs gavel*

"Now, if you'll all pay attention, I think we can pool our efforts and come up with some sort of plan for shoving off this rock. What say ye?"

"I want a peanut butter sandwich."

I shake my head. "Sundance, you already had yogurt, and I thought you were supposed to be working on financing options."


"Fine. We'll take a short recess to make peanut butter sanwiches. All in favor? The eyes have it. Reconvening in twenty minutes."

*After lunch is made and one of the counsel members is de-pooped, the meeting is called back into session.*

"Counsel member Butch, before we continue, are you ready to take the minutes?"


"You are? Because it looks like you're drawing a pumpkin."

"I drew this."

*All members are suddenly distracted by Dora and a talking map.*

"Ok, everyone. I understand Miss Explorer's mission to get over that mountain is pressing, but if we can't even figure out how to keep our house from sinking into the ground, I don't think we're qualified to navigate the Andes with only a backpack and a talking monkey."

Something flies at my head. "Counsel member Doc, did you just throw a bottle at me?"


"I thought I made it clear you weren't allowed to drink at meetings anymore. How are you supposed to keep all the paperwork from the contractors straight, if you're drunk?"

*The meeting is suddenly turned into a free-for-all, when one counsel member punches another in the face, on grounds he stole her  red, plastic dust pan. Meeting adjourned.*

So, as you can see, China's just around the corner. 

Until Next Time, Readers!