Tuesday, November 5, 2013

The Turning of the Turning Points

"You see that Katy? That's our future on the horizon, and it looks like Windex and interest rates."

Afternoon Readers,

I strongly believe the last few days can be summed up with this quote:

"I did a lot of tired things and now I'm very tired." - An Excerpt from Sundance's thoughts on Halloween

Where the Split level's concerned, a lot of big decisions have had to be made fairly quickly. And I'd be a huge liar if I said it hasn't left me mentally exhausted. Not Jack-trying-to-haul-a-substantial-Rose-onto a-floating-door-in-the-freezing-Atlantic type exhaustion, but I haven't been getting a solid eight hours either.

I'm more like the ticket taker on the Titanic who, no doubt, looked around and said, "Really? Get a summer job, they said. Make a little money of your own, they said. No ever saw the world on a paper route, they said."

In short, the Kellermans will be parting with the Split level come Springtime. We'll miss it, but this is great news for anyone who's in the market for a home formerly owned by an author no one's ever heard of.

On the bright side, foundation repairs start Monday. And, after a talk with our realtor, prospects for the future are looking up.

"Well, I calculated what you owe, what the house is worth, and the cost of the repair."

I grabbed the remote and shut off Lifestyles of the Median Incomes: Up Cycled Appliance Edition. "And?"

"I think best case scenario here leaves us at-"

"A four car garage and a summer house in Maine?"

"Breaking even."

"I see."

She continued. "Also, if we're going to meet our goal, I'd advise taking the winter to fix a few things around the house."

"But I usually take the winter to drink cocoa and do nothing. I also thought I might try building a snow fort this year, but plans for that are still sketchy due to the ever-present fact I dislike spending large amounts of time outside."

"It's up to you, but painting, patching, and general cleanup are always a good idea, if you want to get full market value."

"Fine, but I'm sure there are a few people out there who still enjoy the simple charm of outdated light fixtures and unfinished cabinets."

Ok, so things aren't looking up so much as sideways, but, at the very least, 2014 holds the following adventures I'm making you accompany me on:

Spackle, A Journey.
What Do You Mean You're Only Offering Us Ten Dollars?
That Closet Never Had A Door.

and... We Only Need To Live In Your Basement For A Little While.

Until Next Time, Readers!


  1. Come live with us--I'm sure our small guest bedroom with its queen size bed will easily hold the 5 of you!!

    1. Done and done. They had great tickets on Travelocity.

  2. Better that things look sideways than down! If you want to dig a basement for me, you can stay there, no pressure. ;) Getting a plan always makes me feel better, good luck and I can't wait to read about the spackle journey!

    1. Now that I think about it, digging a basement would keep the kids busy for a while. I think we could work something out.

  3. Oh mercy, I've been there, my friend. Godspeed - and at least you'll never run out of things to write about. ;)

    1. What we lack for in foundation stability, we do make up for in literary fodder. I'll take that silver lining and run with it.

  4. People are always like, "That snowfort isn't going to build itself," and I have to wonder, why not?

    1. It's like you read my mind. The snow fort needs to be more self-sufficient.

  5. Ah, I've been away and missed a few things! I read your book while away from blogging and repeatedly woke my husband up jiggling the bed with my laughter. You are the queen of hyperbole!
    Hope you don't lose too many of those children during the spackling.

    1. Thank you so much for reading it, Sandy! True, when there's that much spackling going on, it's definitely a good idea to keep a good count of the children.