Wednesday, January 15, 2014

A Polite Baby

"It's your parenting manual. You won't use it, but it props open doors real nice."
Morning Readers,

You know what I love about the baby? Well, yes, he does have a fabulous, curly, thick head of hair that, if left unchecked, looks like a seventies game show host, but besides that.

He says "Thank you."

This may not seem like a big deal, but considering my other two children show gratitude by telling me my stomach's "squishy" and then running the other direction, I'd say a thirty-three-percent success rate has been bumped up to a hundred percent for the new year.

It's not that I haven't been doing my damnedest to teach the twins manners, it's simply that, when you have two three-year-olds at the same time, you start using words like 'damnedest' and an assortment of other choice expletives, and then you just hope they grow up, pay their taxes, and not go to prison.

But the third one? Oh, he is a polite baby. Which prompts me to think Husband and haven't necessarily become better parents, so much as the more children we have, things will probably just work themselves out to the point our newborns will offer to paralell park the car when I can't.

(Which is all the time. So that's actually a huge relief.)

However, there is a possibility Doc will get too classy for the family, a big reason I had to sit our courteous baby down yesterday and have a serious talk:

"I see you're eating that Hamburger Helper with a fork."

"Tank you."

"You're welcome. Now then, where's this urge to be so polite coming from? You insist on utensils, when, clearly, the rest of the residents here choose to use their hands to gain sustenance."

"Milk."

"Here you go."

"Tank you."

"You're welcome. Considering the fact I fed you children three out of three meals on paper plates yesterday, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you've been watching too much Downton Abbey."

"Tank you."

"Please, no spoilers. I'm still catching up."

"Tank you."

"You just really like saying that, don't you?"

"Tank you."

Hard hitting, investigative journalism tells me this may just be a phase, but, in the event it sticks for the rest of his life, please make sure to forward my parenting award to whatever house we end up in next. Yes, I already stated I don't deserve it, but if our new house has a mantel, we may need something to put on it. Tank you.

Until Next Time, Readers!




 

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