Friday, January 31, 2014

Three Year Olds Read The Titles of Classic Literature

"I can't even handle this right now."

Afternoon Readers,

Keeping the bigger kids distracted has become a daily chore. And no napping means they've decided to fill that void by following me around and asking the same question, over and over again. Correction, they stay busy by asking questions and dumping cocoa all over the coffee table.

Please hold.

Where was I? Right, small human beings, inquiring minds, no naps.

I imagine it was someone with a three-year-old, who first coined the term, "It's always darkest before the dawn." If that's paraphrased, it's because I got up with Doc at 5:30am and kind of don't remember what my middle name is, or if my brain is functioning properly. Nevertheless, the twins are starting to do things which catch me off guard and also have high entertainment value. And like the yoga pant wearing circus trainer I am, I say, "Do it again. Just stop asking me why Ariel wanted to be human, so much."

This week, I discovered the comedic value in letting children read the titles of our books with no pictures. Without further adieu, please enjoy today's selections...

Classic Literature as Read by a Three Year Old

Har' Times by Hunny Dickens

(Hard Times by Charles Dickens)

The Bicker of Wheatfull by Doldmoth

(The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith)

God's Blessing Hughes Water

(God Bless You Mr. Rosewater by Kurt Vonnegut)

Di' Ree Ub A Wri'er by Da ' Atooy

(Diary of a Writer by Dostoevsky)

The Hing'in Glass of Gassin'

(The Hidden Treasure of Glaston by Eleanore Jewett

Chocoberry Fun

(Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain)

Have I read all of these? No. But if any of those titles reached out and grabbed you, don't let me get in the way of wandering to your local Barnes and Noble and asking for your very own copy of something by Hunny Dickens.

It's been a long winter here, folks.

Until Next Time, Readers!


  1. Chocoberry Fun is one of my favorite books of all time. And with this updated title, it's even better!

    1. I hear there's talk to release limited edition with this new title. People will think they're buying cereal, but still.

  2. Ub COURSE I could hear a little voice saying these and was LOL - wow. You'd think I was stuck in the house for 3 days due to Snowpocolypse. Hmm. Oh well, thank you for the entertainment!!

    1. Snowpocolypse has come for us all, Jolie. *Crosses fingers and hopes she makes it out alive*

  3. LOL!!! This is awesome! I often ask Scotty stupid-ass questions...all so I can laugh (internally, of course) at how he mispronounces things. Snow is "No," "Juice comes out as "J-yoooch". Oh, Paige I've got to re-read this post again...

    1. The baby agrees there has been way too much "No" this year. I also concur.

  4. Chocoberry Fun is one of my all-time favorite breakfast cereals!!!