Monday, February 10, 2014

And The Count Goes Up


Morning Readers,

And in today's headline... "More snow falls over weekend. Crazed woman resolves to dig to freedom using teaspoon."

Moving on.

Things around the Split level are feeling a little cramped lately. This ever-present reality is exacerbated by the fact children grow every day and it's too cold to let them go live in the backyard for a while. But we Kellermans are problem solvers. When space is limited and claustriphobia begins to set in, we do the only thing we can do. Add more residents.

Nope, it's not another baby, but you guys will be the first know. Like I always say, news of any import is shared with the internet, family and friends. In that order.

Let's take a quick tally of Split level tenants:

The Editor
Husband
Butch
Sunance
Doc Holiday
Flea
Salvador Perez
Blewie

In the above list, "Blewie" is spelled phonetically. From what I understand, Sundance had originally dubbed him, "Goldie," but after Husband pointed out to her our new pet is actually a vibrant blue, she made a few simple modifications. 

I welcomed him with open arms. "You bought them a fish?"

Husband shrugged. "Well, the ones at the first pet store we went to looked awful, so we went somewhere else and found him."

"That actually raises more questions than it answers."

He picked an empty glass container off the counter. "The kids love him. I'm cleaning out the old fish bowl and throwing some of those red rocks in there. It'll be fine."

"If by "fine" you mean I'll spend all of of my waking hours pulling the kids out of that bowl, then yes, silver linings abound. Why is it you're always the one who buys the pets but I'm the one who ends up taking care of them?"

"Because that's my evil plan. And you're so great at it."

"Right. Long ago, people stopped referring to me as Paige, and now I'm simply addressed as "The Doctor Doolittle of the Plains"."

I didn't have the energy to bring up the startling mortality rate fish experience once they're brought home by Husband. The man means well, but in the seven years I've known him, two, possibly three betas have made the long journey to the big fish bowl in the sky. The jury's still out on the great un-distilled water incident of 2008.  My prospects for Blewie are optimistic at best. 

Then again, I'm responsible for him now, so, taking into consideration time, my devotion to fish, and the children's enthusiasm for feeding him everyday, that bumps his survival prospects up to

...optimistic at best.


Until Next Time, Readers!

3 comments:

  1. Awww! Congrats on the new addition. He'll be work, sure; but at least he won't produce any dirty diapers or keep you up at night with teething woes. I'm just trying to look at the brighter side of things...At least Husband isn't gunning for a frog or hamster. I told Scott it will be either them or me, and if they eliminate me, that's also like taking out Kennedy: The frog and hamsters can't breastfeed.

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  2. Husbands are clueless most of the time. I would suggest you go away to a spa for a week, return to see has been smashed and if anyone has run away, and then go to a different spa.

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  3. Good news - fish don't stay up all night spinning a wheel as some hamsters do. Bad news - fish can't squeak loudly if a child squeezes them. Have a high shelf for Blewie? In a closet? That can be locked? Blewie can come out for naptimes and after bedtime? lol I've seen the beta fish that have a plant in the top of their "bowl" - may help make noise to prevent Blewie being hugged to death.
    OH! Show them Nemo and suggest they do NOT want to become "Darla" to Blewie.
    Most of all, GOOD LUCK! :D

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