Monday, April 7, 2014

And Now... Another Drawer-Full of Odds and Ends

"Who are these soapless people?"
Morning Readers,

First off, I'd just like to say the entries in this month's caption contest are killing me. In a good way.

Keep at it, folks.

The sunshine you're sprinkling in my life is invaluable. It's also valuable. Additionally, it means more to me than two candy bars falling out of a machine at once. And that's a lot.

You wanna know something else? As you read this, I'm somewhere else besides the blog. That's right, while it seems my voice is stationary and in your head, I'm also being broadcast to the greater KC Metro area, on Kansas City Live. If the implication of me being fed to the public in that many mediums is disturbing, I agree.

Let's form a circle and be unnerved together. I'll bring the chips.

But I say, why hurl yourself off the crazy train when you can ride that enchilada all the way to what-the-hells-she-talking-about town? So, instead of talking about something concise and mind-bending, let's check out some other strange odds and ends seen around the Split level lately....

1.) The baby has taken to sprawling on his belly and declared himself to be "Fwimming ..fwimming.. fwimming." This made sense when he was "fwimming" in the bathtub the other night, but makes much less sense when he does it on the back of the couch.

2. When asked if he'd like a sample bottle of expensive men's shampoo that came in the mail, Husband replied he hasn't been washing his hair for the last month.

"You haven't been washing your hair when you shower?"

"Nope. I'm just rinsing it and seeing how it goes."

More on this disturbing turn of events later.

3. Today, Sundance ran into the house, smelling of some sort of spagetti dinner. When asked why she smelled so interesting, she replied she ate an onion she found in the backyard.

We don't have any onions in the backyard. Subject has been put under intense watch and poison control is on standby.

4. A few days ago, I found the baby standing in the toilet. We went to a friend's house on Friday night. The baby stood in their toilet too. You'll be the first to know if we're invited back.

5. Butch has taken to playing quietly and building train tracks, block buildings, and coloring diligently. I'm throwing in a normal bullet point so I can sleep at night.

So there you have it. I'm not really sure where we fall on the weird scale these days. All I know is I just heard stomping coming from the toilet.

Until Next Time, Readers!


  1. Oh, dear, about the shampoo. I'm watching my husband because I think the bar of soap on his sink has been there over a year...

    1. Apparently I haven't been watching close enough all this time. I'll be putting shampoo front and center in the shower and dropping subtle hints like, "Did you use the shampoo I left in all four corners of the shower?"

  2. hahaha! Excellent. My husband insisted on using Pantene Pro-V for the longest time because he has three sisters and that's what was in the shower when he was growing up. Heaven forbid he should buy his own.

    1. I could definitely see that. I think, in that area, men are more creatures of habit than we are. All my soul mate needs to survive is a bar of soap, and that's simultaneously fascinating and terrifying. The situation is being monitored.

  3. What in the hell is with our kids eating onions? Just the other day, Scotty grabs a red onion off the island and goes, "MMMMMmmm. Apple," and then takes a huge ass bite before I could stop him.

    The look on his face was priceless.

    But, seriously, do you have any idea what Sundance ate in the backyard? I'm so curious...