Wednesday, April 9, 2014

It's a Remergency!

"We'd love to stick around, but someone just called in a remergency."

Morning Readers,

I don't usually use exclamation points in my post titles, but as the Split level is still buzzing from recent events, I had to convey the general tizzy of the last day or so.

A remergency. For those of you who don't know, it's like an emergency, but instead of important news carried via adult, it's shouted at you by a three-year-old while you're on the toilet.

"Remergency! Remergency! We have a remergency!"

I mentally slapped myself for going to the bathroom, knowing I had children.

"Remergency!"

"What is it? What's so remergent?"

She grabbed my hand and yanked me off the toilet. "The baby escaped!"

Slamming my jean shorts back on, I bolted down the stairs and looked around frantically. "But the back door's locked. I-"

"The baby's in the front! Remergency!"

Then it dawned on me. Only minutes before, I'd gotten the mail and only locked the glass storm door. My usual locking of the deadbolt had been interrupted by Nature's call and the confidence the baby wasn't smart enough to pull a Kathrine Zita Jones under this particularly flimsy laser. I sprinted outside and stopped briefly to take in the terrifying but slightly amusing sight of Butch dragging his little brother, by the collar, back up the driveway.

He nodded. "I got em'."

"Thank you, honey! You're a very good and brave brother."

After everyone was safe inside, Sundance let the subject drop as well as any three-year-old. "The baby almost died."

"Sweetheart, he's fine."

"You should've locked the door. He almost got hit by a car. And then he'd be gone forever."

"It's ok, hon-"

"Dead."

"Honey-"

"For always."

"Thank you, sweet pea. Don't worry, Mommy's currently dipping into her large soup pot of guilt and ladling it into neat, china bowls of failure."

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

"I think I need a drink from all that rescuin'."

These things happen, but I'm still never quite prepared for how quickly kids catch you off guard. All you can really do is live, learn, and deadbolt your doors. Sundance declared both her and Butch to be "superheros," and I totally agree. The twins keep me on my toes, but it turns out, they're great to have around in a remergency.

Until Next Time, Readers!




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