|"You don't understand, I have to diaper that baby." .... "It's too late, Suzanna. You'll never catch him now."|
Who else watched Alec Baldwin and Anthony Hopkins battle a bear to the death in the forgettable film, The Edge, last night?
Didn't think so. (But I think it's only fair to give a nod to the bear, who gave an impassioned and convincing performance. I truly believed you wanted to eat people.)
Moving on to less disturbing things happening around the Split level...
Now that I'm rearing my third toddler, I can say, with all confidence, I've learned absolutely nothing. This is particularly sad because God gave me two toddlers to start with, and one would think I'd be a veritable arsenal of knowledge against the antics of the miniature assassin set. A treasure trove of defense.
Life, proving I'm not smart, one day at a time.
For, if I'd been retaining anything useful over the last four years, instead of eagerly watching the digital clock on the stove tick to seven pm so I could start hunting for the corkscrew, I wouldn't have been caught off guard by the following scenarios this week.
Me: Why are you plunging the toilet, naked?
Me: Seriously though.
Doc: Potty. *continues plunging sans diaper*
Me: If you didn't flush your diaper, which seems like a possibility right now, would you run the main drain for free?
Me: How long have you been naked in the backyard?
Me: I think it was too much time no matter how we look at it.
Me: That's the fiftieth diaper you've taken off today. This has got to st... Wait, where'd you go?
Sundance: He took off his diaper and ran that way.
So, there we are. The bad news is the chances of keeping the baby in his diaper are slim-to-none for summer 2014. (Plans involving packing tape, onsies made of iron, and possibly a full body wet suit are in the works.)
The good news? You don't have to be naked! At least from the neck up.
|These beautiful pieces will help you not be naked.|
My friend and avid reader of this here blog, Heather from Penny Jules, has generously offered to give one of you lucky peeps a gift certificate to her beautiful, fantastic, and I-want-to-buy-all-the-things shop. She's truly gifted and has an eye and skill for making the most beautiful pieces. (I've got some super cute earrings headed my way. And after the diaper debacle, you know it'll be the high point of the last seven days.)
So get crackin' and hit up the delightful Rafflecopter below.
I'm off to re-diaper the baby.
Until Next Time, Readers!
a Rafflecopter giveaway