|"Yes, Denise, I understand your toddler just poured a jug of milk on the cat. Now, put down the vodka and visit MomAssembly instead. They have a video for that."|
Let me tell you a little story about about how all of my kids have choked on something before.
Yeah, I was going to add more details, but I thought I'd leave out the parts where I panic, flail my arms around, and try to remember what it is I need to do to save their life.
...I also omitted the part where I look heavenward and call out, "Why would you entrust the care of other human beings to me?"
The good news is, after knowing I needed to do it for a while now, I took a fantastic CPR class on MomAssembly this week. What's MomAssembly? Well, let me just tell you.
Meet Jill Spivak and Jen Waldburger...
|Jill's just getting ready to star in the new reality TV show on Bravo called, "There Goes the Motherhood." Ain't no thang.|
They have every class on parenting you can imagine and it's not done in a silly, condescending way:
Infant and Child CPR
Surviving the First Months
Why kids stare at you in the middle of the night because they have to go potty, but it really freaks you out because it's 3am, child.*
*I may have made that last one up.
And the even better news is you can start and stop classes when your toddler and his absent motor skills pulls the entire jug of milk out of the fridge and tries to pour himself a glass. They're broken down into short videos, so it's easy to do kid damage control and then get back to where you left off.
A little snippet on what they're all about...
"Parenting has never come with instructions - until now! The world’s first online video-education site for moms, MomAssembly is an interactive university, available 24-7 from the comfort of your home, that gives you all the information you need to raise happy, healthy kids. And because moms are more than just parents, we also have plenty of offerings to help you look and feel your best, explore your creativity, and discover other interests and passions you may not know you had. Too busy or tired to read a book, or too far geographically from that expert whose seminar you’d love to take? No problem – we’ve assembled the world’s top parenting gurus, lifestyle and beauty experts, and health and fitness trainers, all available with just a click of your mouse. Bring your curiosity, your imagination, and all of your questions – and get ready to learn, grow, and love."
I try not to review anything unless I have something to offer my favorite Readers on the planet, so I was excited to see they want to offer a free month to the first ten people who sign up here. Like what you see? Stay. Don't like what you see? Well, no one's going to hog tie you and make you click around, but I guarantee you'll find something appeals to you.
And now if someone accuses you of wasting time on the internet, you can shout back. "I'm not wasting time, I'm learning valuable tips about keeping our kids alive."
Righteous indignation is a hobby of mine.
(It's fabulous companies like MomAssembly that keep this little operation afloat, so I was indeed compensated for reviewing how surprisingly awesome their site is.)
You can follow MomAssembly on Facebook here or Twitter Here. Oh yes, and their fabulous Pinterest board is right here.
Until Next Time, Readers!