Thursday, January 8, 2015

The Art of No Art: And A Sweet Giveaway From Minted!

"Know how to decorate? I thought the hat would've tipped you off."

Morning Readers,

Ahh, another year, another opportunity to lift the moratorium on hanging things on any home I own. Some people resolve to lose weight. I just ate the Bacon Portabello melt from Wendy's and thought, "I'll work out in two thousand sixteen. Two thousand fifteen is the year of matted-down frames and splashes of color. Note to self, find out what constitutes a "splash."

Insider tip, if you ever find yourself wandering through my house, please be kind enough to load and fill the dishwasher. But after that, take a look at the walls. What do you see?

Nothing.

Did you go blind? No, you did not. What you're seeing is wall expanse after wall expanse completely devoid of pictures, paintings, statues, and, thank goodness, a roughly-hewn, nude sketch of me in charcoal. The Split level had no decoration on the walls because of fear, the simple, primal fear that all Kellerman children would rip everything off the walls, beat them with a hammer, and set a bonfire that could be seen from the nearest Willams-Sanoma.

As much as you love them, children have a tendency to take down art and poke holes in the Mona Lisa's eyes. It's just a fact. However, the Three Musketeers are getting older, and, seeing as The Oak Palace is a new place with new possibilities, I've decided to face my fears and start decorating.

Will it be professional? No!

Will things sit at a right angle? No!

Is there a good chance I'll hit a nail into the wall too hard and go right through the drywall? *Slowly retracts basket of rhetorical questions*

But where to start? The good news is I have a jumping off point. The good people at Minted.com reached out and asked if I'd like to try their goods. So, I started poking around and found all the AMAZING art on their site. Behold, Sundance's first, very special, nailed-to-the-wall-do-not-take-it-down-child, print.

I'm not sure who Addison is, but I hope she's not miffed when Sundance throws her own name on that hill.
So very cute. I may not know how to position a centerpiece properly, but I know cute when I see it.

What?

You know me better than that. Of course there's something in it for you, my dears. Just enter the handy dandy Rafflecopter below, and you could win a 50.00$ credit to Minted.com.

Grab a customized print.
Beautiful fabrics.
Or, if you happen to be getting hitched soon, they have save the dates that are way more stylish than the ones I sent out. I seem to recall writing something on Taco Bell wrappers, wrapping them around rocks, and throwing them through people's windows.

I don't know who you are, Pamela and Tynan, but you're way better looking than a rock through a window.

Get to it, my friends, and I'll see you next week, most likely mumbling something about blue wallpaper.


Until Next Time, Readers!
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22 comments:

  1. Right now my worst decorating is happening at the bottom of the stairs, where there's a toddler-high explosion of Hello Kitty stickers on the wall. But, at least it's decorated, so that's more than I can say for the rest of my walls.

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  2. My walls are in desperate need of...something.

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  3. Do the marker-covered walls in the playroom count? I could try to clean them off...but that would be effort.

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  4. Husband and I almost came to blows over a picture frames design gone wrong. I'll spare you the gory details; all you need to know is I won. Also, I want to win this. Thanks.

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  5. The decoration looked FINE...until the oversized painting of a flower fell off the wall onto my 5yo's head while she was eating dinner, emotionally scarring her for life. She refuses to sit in "The Danger Seat" now. Like, ever.
    Oops?

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  6. I sadly don't have any decorating fails, because I never get anything on the walls before we move again.

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  7. I'm terrible at decorating! I always try to hang paintings with command strips so I don't leave holes in the walls, and then they just fall down!

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  8. Nothing crazy - I need to get better at doing any decorating at all.

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  9. 3 year old + drawing skills = AAAALLLLL of the sharpie art! thank goodness for magic erasers!

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  10. It sounds like a good neighborhood. Did you buy or are you renting?

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    1. We bought, Julie. So far, so good. Everyone here seems really really nice.

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  11. I know and understand the command strip pain. I hung a framed print with one and it crashed the very next day, breaking the new frame. Never again.

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  12. I bought some super cute vintage shutters to hang in my guest bath... but didn't hang them well. First overnight guest we had accidentally knocked them off the wall and destroyed them! I know now that two tiny nails on big shutters is not a good idea.

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  13. my hubby & i were trying to make some nursery art for our baby (due in 8 days!) and saw a really cool idea on pinterest (the source of way too many sad fails for diy-ers). it involved drawing something with white crayon, and then watercoloring over it. so the idea is that the wax from the crayon will repel the paint and so you will have a white image standing out amongst all this beautiful watercolor. we drew a bear but my husband had apparently never watercolored before.......mixed pretty much every color together because he thought that was how it went down. hahahah needless to say we ended up with a pukey green brown color bear and re did it the next day :p

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  14. I think my whole house is worst decorating experience right now. I can't figure out how to get it decorated at all. Thanks for the giveaway! DamianMom at yahoo dot com

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  15. Replies
    1. Ahh, the fine and tedious art of painting cabinets. We'll be doing that again in the spring and I'm slightly terrified.

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  16. We moved in August to a new house. There is NOTHING on the walls. Literally. Still. I wish I knew how to decorate.

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  17. WELLLLL, we moved into this tiny little apartment with these horrifying walls. I am trying to cover them up with pictures but most of the walls have steel beams so we cant make it though even with a special drill. ARGH

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