Thursday, January 8, 2015

The Art of No Art: And A Sweet Giveaway From Minted!

"Know how to decorate? I thought the hat would've tipped you off."

Morning Readers,

Ahh, another year, another opportunity to lift the moratorium on hanging things on any home I own. Some people resolve to lose weight. I just ate the Bacon Portabello melt from Wendy's and thought, "I'll work out in two thousand sixteen. Two thousand fifteen is the year of matted-down frames and splashes of color. Note to self, find out what constitutes a "splash."

Insider tip, if you ever find yourself wandering through my house, please be kind enough to load and fill the dishwasher. But after that, take a look at the walls. What do you see?


Did you go blind? No, you did not. What you're seeing is wall expanse after wall expanse completely devoid of pictures, paintings, statues, and, thank goodness, a roughly-hewn, nude sketch of me in charcoal. The Split level had no decoration on the walls because of fear, the simple, primal fear that all Kellerman children would rip everything off the walls, beat them with a hammer, and set a bonfire that could be seen from the nearest Willams-Sanoma.

As much as you love them, children have a tendency to take down art and poke holes in the Mona Lisa's eyes. It's just a fact. However, the Three Musketeers are getting older, and, seeing as The Oak Palace is a new place with new possibilities, I've decided to face my fears and start decorating.

Will it be professional? No!

Will things sit at a right angle? No!

Is there a good chance I'll hit a nail into the wall too hard and go right through the drywall? *Slowly retracts basket of rhetorical questions*

But where to start? The good news is I have a jumping off point. The good people at reached out and asked if I'd like to try their goods. So, I started poking around and found all the AMAZING art on their site. Behold, Sundance's first, very special, nailed-to-the-wall-do-not-take-it-down-child, print.

I'm not sure who Addison is, but I hope she's not miffed when Sundance throws her own name on that hill.
So very cute. I may not know how to position a centerpiece properly, but I know cute when I see it.


You know me better than that. Of course there's something in it for you, my dears. Just enter the handy dandy Rafflecopter below, and you could win a 50.00$ credit to

Grab a customized print.
Beautiful fabrics.
Or, if you happen to be getting hitched soon, they have save the dates that are way more stylish than the ones I sent out. I seem to recall writing something on Taco Bell wrappers, wrapping them around rocks, and throwing them through people's windows.

I don't know who you are, Pamela and Tynan, but you're way better looking than a rock through a window.

Get to it, my friends, and I'll see you next week, most likely mumbling something about blue wallpaper.

Until Next Time, Readers!
a Rafflecopter giveaway
Like what you read here? Buy some Cankles
And if quick bathroom reads are your friend, grab The Big Book of Parenting Tweets: Featuring the Most Hilarious Parents on Twitter!
And now that I've awkwardly made you my friend, come hang out with me on: